BRO CODE by Mosco

These days, men spend all their time talking about….women! (Like that isn’t obvious enough) and of course sports and other random topics.

So, in going against the trend, we shall be talking solely about the REAL MAN (just kidding, how’s that going to be fun?) ; here-in referred to as a “BRO”, and the many rules guiding bro’s since the beginning of time as to how a bro must conduct himself amongst other bro’s and chicks too *insert lecherous grin here*.

It is a Bro’s solemn duty to always abide by the bro code in his quest for epicness, so before we proceed, raise your right hand and solemnly swear that you shall always uphold the requirements of the bro code and make amends for previous short-comings.

Although “the bro code” has been passed on from one generation of bro’s to another but for a long time; the bro code has not been codified in a single document. It is a document thought to have originated shortly after Judas betrayed Jesus and other bro’s decided that this un-bro-ly conduct could reflect badly on other bro’s.

So, here it is bro’s, the bro code…in no particular order;

“A bro does not choose his nickname; a nickname is bestowed upon you by your fellow bro’s, either as a punishment or a reward for epic deeds”. Do not attempt to change or complain about your nickname, be glad that your bro’s have extended their warmth in replacing your given name (which is most likely something boring) with something more embarrassing and befitting.

Thomas was “doubting Thomas”, Jesus even named Peter “the rock on whom I shall build my church” (Yes, Dwayne Johnson, we know you stole Peter’s nickname).

“When Bro’s go out to get drinks, all Bro’s must contribute to get the bill paid”. This is not the time to answer strange phone calls, not even the call of nature; when the waiter brings the bill, sit your ass down and chip in, like the real bro that you are. The only clause to this rule is if the bro’s have agreed beforehand that a single bro should handle the bill alone.

“A bro never tells his Bro’s main chick about his side chicks”. In this era where real men are scarce and loudmouths are everywhere, real Bro’s are reminded of this obligation; you should at all times convince your bro’s main chick that she is the only chick, kapish?

Selective amnesia is recommended in this situation; your bro is faithful to his main chick, the chick he was squeezing when you walked into the house the other day is a figment of your imagination (*brings out that nameless device from Men in Black*).

Additionally, this rule was created for unity and harmony among bro’s; “A bro’s bro is also your bro….if you do not like the said bro, it should only be mentioned when your bro’s bro has left”. In line with this, if your bro brings along his bro for drinks or to come watch a game, it is your duty to give your bro’s bro a sense of belonging.

No bitching about how your bro’s bro is sloppy or how his voice is as loud as a Pentecostal church’s loudspeaker. None of that pettiness, always maintain infinite patience with your bro’s bro.

“A bro’s girlfriend is perfect….until she dumps him”; your bro’s girlfriend is perfect, not a negative word shall be uttered about her out of respect for your bro. However, this rule becomes redundant when she dumps your bro! Once she becomes an ex, feel free to talk about her bow-legs, her “a-cup” boobs amongst other major flaws. Don’t also forget to mention that she was never good enough for your bro in the first place; of course, all of these comments must be unanimously agreed upon by all bro’s.

“A Bro must never shed tears”; (Except he receives a very hot slap from a MOPOL/Soldier/Lagos Conductor/Agbero) a bro must never be seen to shed tears, any and every happening must be borne with a straight face and all tears carefully dammed behind a bro’s eyes.

What shall bro’s be without love? Thus, the cardinal principle of Bro-ness is “Love your neigh-bro as yourself”. We live in a world of questioned sexuality so you know this “love” involves no physical contact whatsoever except a handshake, a slap on the back and the occasional “shoulder-bump” when you haven’t seen your bro in a long time.

“When hooking up with a group of chicks, one Bro must take one for the team and hook up with the ugly chick” (I don’t have to explain that there’s always an ugly girl in a group of girls, all bro’s know this) Real Bro’s must not be seen to be “hustling” over fine chicks, thus this rule, every bro must take one for the team once in a while. Amen?
“When your bro’s girlfriend calls to ask where your bro is and why he’s not picking up his calls; YOU must always lie that he’s at your place….sleeping”. This is your unimpeachable duty as a bro, and then of course, you have to call your bro to get the scoop of where he really is and align your lies (bro’s shouldn’t get caught in a conflicting lie).

“When bro’s take a picture, at least two of them must keep a straight face”; none of that nonsense new age pouting or trying to look “cute”; you must look like a BRO and nothing less! Real Bro’s DO NOT smile in pictures or take “mirror pictures”; if you’ve ever taken a picture in the mirror with your iPhone5 and a cute smile on your face, you shouldn’t be reading this, you’re wife material already.

“Where a Bro knows he has no chance of scoring with a chick, he is obligated to refer the said chick to another Bro”; this rule has other sub-sections, “In the event that two Bro’s lock/clock on the same woman, the Bro who has been without a woman the longest is given the first shot (a shot that must be taken within 24 hours, before being passed on”.

Inevitably, bro’s must occasionally clock on the same chick (na only you like better thing?), Troy went to war over Helen (if only they had read the bro code).

“A bro shall not damage another bro’s chances to get laid; real bro’s do not cock-block!” In the event that your bro is telling lies just to score a chick, it is your duty as a bro to back his lies up. If he says he lives in Banana Island, you must remind him that he owns the entire Island, any lie your bro tells must be backed up by another bro (solely in the event of trying to score a chick).

Concerning your bro’s relations, your bro’s mom is always off-limits (forget that crappy movie “MILF”); additionally, a bro will not sleep with another bro’s sister. However, a bro is allowed to be vocal about her level of attractiveness. You will never be good enough for your bro’s sister, so do not attempt to sever the ties that bind bro’s by shagging his sister.

In conclusion, there is honour amongst bro’s, so another key rule in the Bro code is “A bro must honour his father, for he was once a bro”. No matter how much of a bro you are, an older bro laid the foundation of epicness by sizing up a worthy mate and gave birth to the epicness that is you! If you doubt your father’s prowess as a bro, stare at your mama. Enough said!

P:S This is by no means an exhaustive and all-encompassing version of the bro-code, just a random selection of the most interesting aspects of the bro code.

Leap of Faith and Purpose

Not trying to go religious on you but if at all I do so, there's nothing bad in it. Let's reflect about faith, taking steps to fulfill our purpose on earth.

A leap of faith in its commonly used meaning is the act of believing in or accepting something intangible or unprovable or without empirical evidence.
The Phrase 'leap of faith' is attributed to a philosopher, Soren Kierkegaad. He believes that even no matter how religious you are, for you to fulfill your purpose(s) you must take a step or make efforts believing that what you see afar will come true or you'll get there.

There are times in our life where we reach a chasm(a deep crack or opening in the ground). We find ourselves at the edge of a gap between where we are and getting to that next level. We know we want to be on the other side. We can see it and yet we are standing still at the edge staring down and the gap between where we are and where we want to be. Even though the distance between our ledge and the ledge of where we want to be is not beyond our capabilities, we don't jump. We could if we commit ourselves to jump from one side to the other without falling into the gap. Yet, we stand there frozen.
 
At those times, instead of taking that leap, we start backing away from the ledge. We let our fear and self doubt take over. We let the comfort of what we know dominate over what could be and what we wish for truly in our hearts. As we back up we fall into our old circumstances and behavior. Even though we have worked hard to get away from those circumstances and or behavior, it is what we know and what we are comfortable with. Then, in our minds we see the retreat as failure.
 
What we do not recognize is that backing up for a moment is how we create success. Backing up allows us two advantages, we can confirm that we do not want to live on this side of the chasm. Think of it as a parting taste of what was. Even more than that last taste, think of it as what is needed to truly get to the other side, because in fact what you are doing is backing up so that you can take a running start and clear that gap with ease. So there is no failure, only backing up to take a running start, because failure, if you insist on using that word, is what is needed to create success. Without failure there is no success, it is what's needed to get that running start to take that leap.
 
So don't be afraid of backing up, or once again, I know you want to say fail. Failure is part of success. The idea though, is not to back up too far. If you do, once you take that running start you will be worn out before you reach the chasm to leap, and you will stay stuck until you regain your energy. You have to recognize that you are backing up and you have to stop and commit to moving forward with your life.
 
Once you take that run towards the edge, one of three things will happen. There are those that the fear will take over and they will stop well short of the edge. There are those who will try and stop but wait to long and fall into the gap. They fall into worse circumstances, not because they could not move forward, but because they were consumed with doubt once they jumped. Then there are those who commit and take that leap of faith and easily make to the other side.
 
The more you fear the gap the bigger the gap becomes in your mind. That is just your perception, the gap never changes in size. Crossing the gap, if you commit, you can always make it, but your fear controls how you see it.
 
Commit today to moving forward. Believe in yourself and in the life you want to create.  The life you want is on the other side of the chasm. Are you going to jump or stay stuck on this side? Take a leap of faith and break free.  It is in those moments when you leap that you are truly free. There you are in the air, and it seems as that time for a moment gets suspended. Your senses are aware of everything going on and you feel fully alive. You are hyper focused on the approaching ledge and landing safely on the other side. It is that moment that you truly leave the past behind as your mind becomes clear of everything that was holding you back. It is in those moments that you become truly connected to your purpose.
 
Your purpose is always to move forward in life. Your purpose is not to avoid the leap by burying yourself in the safety of routine. Your purpose is not avoiding life in front of a TV or computer or electronic device. Your purpose is not escaping life with alcohol, drugs, food, sex or other. Your purpose is moving forward creating more, living more, feeling more and being alive. You cannot be connected to purpose staying stuck on this side of the chasm. Take that leap and feel alive. Land on the other side and leave the past behind. Don't fear falling back as it is just you getting ready to take a running start. Start running and take that leap, that leap of faith. 

Thank God for Myles Munroe..... He inspired this post. You people should get pursuit of purpose by him, awesome book. Do have a wonderful week...

The Surprise (cheating)

What other explanation can there possibly be for standing outside my girlfriend's apartment while she and her EX are both inside, doing God only Knows what?

How else can I explain the overriding impulse to slink guiltily away, before somebody notices me lurking like peeping Tom in the Pre-dawn shadows?

This is really painful and sickening. Sometimes even with my not too complex mind, I wish we shared 99% of our DNA with ostriches rather than chimps. It would make us more prone to bury our heads when faced with such unpalatable situations. *I know this because I saw ostriches almost everyday during high school, so I know their ways. NVM tho' .

I think this whole debacle would hurt a little less if it weren't her 20th bday and despite my meticulous plans, so that I'd be the first person she sees today is now as deflated as my ego. The worst thing of all, I'm standing here like a prize moron with a dozen roses in one hand and in one hand gifts like hand-made biscuits, chocolates.......

I've been planning to surprise her for weeks. With no money on me, I had to sell some stuffs, got small loan from sola (a friend). I never knew I'd end up crying. Though this is strange but I saw it coming. She still laugh and whine around her Ex because of one flashy car, displays him on BBM. But I thought it was only that she was missing him, which is almost normal to miss memories with an oldie (EX). To the extent of asking him for financial assistance without my knowledge. Might not be as rich as the EX but I love her. At least I didn't ignore or cheat on her like he did.


Sometimes I wish I can grow boobs, considering my luck with Les Dames (the ladies). I'm almost certain that a man with his own boobs will never be bored. I don't mean 'man-boobs' or some gbengish(from gbenga) boobs though, I mean proper girly-bumps.

I understand she had good times with this Ex and she suffered heartbreak. I did exploit this just as a way to get her heart and convince her I was a better option.

I saw the light of the room and the curtain of the room twitch and Panic rises again ; should I stay and confront her or just run-away? Could I come back later and pretend I know nothing of her overnight guest?
And all of a sudden, tope her neighbour and a friend came out. It was still around 5:30am. She saw the gifts in my hands, gave me a little hug and asked if I've seen my GF but with the look on my face she knew I already have a clue of what's happening in my GF's room.

Then my GF came out of the front door after tope knocked to inform her of my arrival or presence. She bumped out with just towel tied up to her girly-bumps. She looked at me emotionlessly and folds her arms across her chest. She frankly told me "hey I'm sorry, I still love michael (the EX). He's a part of me I couldn't do without". Tried convincing her but vain was the end result. The Ex then came out with a funny smile on his face. And straight up, I jab my fist out and punch him in the mouth, he tried to punch back but I was pretty much a dodger. At that moment I feel my balls drop back into place. I was a man again because love filled me with uterus and I became soft for her. But now I have testosterone in me.

I dropped all the gifts afterwards and I left. I planned a surprise but met a surprise. Do have a 'bitchful' birthday, you Slutface.

Now I believe, there's no honesty in any relationship, girls are just bunch of sluts.
Maybe this is just hasty generalization. I have friends (girls) who are pretty awesome and are not anyway near "sluttery".


*Note that this post is not about me and all the characters are not real...... Just me creating what to reflect on.

Cheating!!!

friendzone

The almost new trending word is friendzone. Twitter, facebook, BBM and even 2go are the serious platform of the discussion about the term. I get seriously confused these days not just because of the new relationship term but because I'm deeply rooted in it. So I sum up all my meanings of it to just one Which is, Friendzone is what you attain after you fail to impress a woman you're attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, "You're such a good friend". To me friendzone has two sides, the side where you want a sexual or romantic relationship with someone while the other side is the other person not wanting it!


Some men who claim to be in the friend zone believe that they are entitled to a relationship by being kind or caring, thereby putting the blame on the recipient of these actions for not wanting a relationship. This behavior has made the concept of the friend zone charged with negative connotations, and anyone using the term are now often seen as expressing this form of entitlement and blame, even if they are in fact only expressing the undesirability of the situation.

There are differing explanations of why you can end up in the friendzone. But for me, my own explanations are Nigerian, civil and true!

One is the MR NICE GUY syndrome. Where you are kind and caring to a gurl you love and she sees you as nothing more than a brother! Read on a friend's blog that girls don't really dig the Nice guy thing anymore, they go for the bad guys and come crying for help from the MR nice Guy.

A girl can also get friendzoned but it is not really common.
It is actually some people's fault they get friendzoned.
Seriously I know it's fun to laugh at guys who are stuck in the friend zone, but I'm getting a little tired of them blaming the girls for their status. No one told you to become a bench when her feet got tired. Look in the mirror friend zoned dude!! Maybe the problem is you! When you want a girl, while not tell her you want her. Stop playing the friendship thingy. That maybe one day she will jump on you and understand you love her. It happens only in movies.

Then again, maybe she does know and you're the one who is clueless to the hints she's giving you that she's just not into you that way. You know it is possible for a guy and girl to just be friends. You're the one who made it awkward by falling in love. That was the case in 500 days of summer! But if you've seen Araromire(figurine), Ramsey Noah's kinda Friendzone is the greatest ever.


Having someone carry you over puddles and chauffeur you to dates might seem great at first, but eventually you start to lose all respect for a guy who does whatever you say. Like seriously u can't be more than a friend if you follow her to all the shows. One girl I know actually got a guy friend to come over every day to just gist about Gays and lesbian. And when I told her the guy is in love with her, she said "eww I can't even date that gay".  Let that be a cautionary tale for you, friend zone prone guys.


I and Gbenga are victims of friendzone. But in our own case(s), it is with our EX. We love them so much that after break up we still wanna continue loving them. But they on the other side see us as friends or brothers. Oh well! I guess they are reading this too, we love you girls. I'm sure gbenga is tired of the valley of friend zone.

One of the ways of how to get out of this zone is be bold to tell her you love her, it's either a yes or no.

Also stop the mr Nice guy thingy....... I'm not saying you should stop been nice but be a hard guy. Let her know there's a difference between being Nice and what you feel for her.For many people, a big distinction between "friendship" and "relationship" is the way they touch. There are platonic ways to touch someone, and romantic ways, and the boundary is different for different people. But if you're terrified of touching someone the wrong way, to the extent that you hesitate and never touch them first, your intentions may be good but your "touch paralysis" isn't helping you at all in the romantic department. Take a few little "touch risks". Reach for their hands, hair, shoulders, ankles, and back. Don't just always wait for them to do it first. If they don't like it, they'll definitely let you know. But touching someone communicates to them that you find them attractive, and also that you're reasonably confident. Both of these things can make someone feel more .

Anyways these are just my own views...... Add yours! Lol