The other day I was chilling with my friends at the bar when an idea just popped into my head like the bottle of cold Star waiting to unleash its glorious "highness" on my sombre self. Yeah you could say this here is one other rambling on of a depraved hedonist(your choice of adjective is your prerogative just as is my lifestyle)but you never know what this "fool" here might contribute to the task of enriching the human knowledge base.
Back to the matter(in wizkid's voice) the idea was that I owe my existence at least my adolescent one to the invention of a modern day oracle popularly known as GOOGLE. The inventors of this "ginomous" oracle deserve a place in the pantheons of gods for the simple reason that they have help with their invention to settle scores amicably- the number of duels have drastically reduce since the invention of Google (this piece is for you if you believe the above). I mean, guys you will all agree with me that their as been one time when you find yourself arguing with folks who only voiceferously air their ignorance about the round leather sport - football and to your horror you see how you(the enlightened one) is erroneously painted as the king of all ignoranmus. The knight to usurp you from the blighted throne of ignorance can only come in the form of GOOGLE! You gleefully wave your phone at those bunch of ignoranmuses and just like Archimedes you scream Eureka! Eureka! Telling all and sundry in your hoarse voice and sweat soaked shirt how you have been right all along and(now the insults can rain down freely)how this back of television watchers had the temerity to disagree with you! I know all you ladies be like what do this guys see in a football match? I mean how can you pack yourself full in a stuffy make shift shop and exclaim sighs and groans mixed with a sarcastic or snide remark at the supporters of an opposing team? Guess the answer to that is Love. The last word of that previous sentence readily provides me with an example of how you ladies (mis)use the search engine - Google. How many of you ladies remember searching for: "how to know when your man loves you" or "10 signs that he is cheating on you". Don't get me wrong ain't nothing wrong with you finding out from (psuedo) love doctors as to why Francis buys you #200 worth of suya instead of the usual #500 worth. It might just be that he is broke and not the #5 sign on the list of signs to know that he is cheating on you.(Note the sarcasm)
We all have at one point or the order have GOOGLE to thank for an assignment that seems to be intruding on more pressing matters in our campus life(you sabi dem now). This brings me to the crux of the matter; Google, Friend or foe? I want you to decide for yourself by asking: "am I more enlightened than the 18th century man living in the hinterland because of my access to GOOGLE?" "My reliance on the search engine is it essentially different from the natives reliance on the gods saying?" Your answer(s) if you have any are welcome but I will only read them when am sober.
DISCLAIMER: The above is simply reflections of an highly inebriated person any individual or group that feels slighted by it should blame the liquor store not before remembering that my constant drinking is helping put food on the table for the factory worker's family.
Tuesday 27 August 2013
Sunday 25 August 2013
Social Media, Making Friends and the False Intimacy
It’s not an illusion. We really are doing more with each 24 hours, as technology enables (or forces) us to interact and intersect, do and consume with unprecedented volume and vigor. We live our lives at breakneck speed because we can, because we feel we have to keep up, and because every macro and micro breeze blows in that direction.
I remember the days before social media when I would get 20 phone calls per day and probably go on midnight calls for the 'tolus' in my life, and felt exhausted by the pace of communication. Now we’ve traded the telephone for other connection points (I only get 2-3 calls per week, I don't even call anyone tho'), but the overall number of people calling and sending me texts faded away with no explanation like Elijah did.
Now the number of “inboxes” we possess is staggering: Email (3 accounts for me), public Twitter, Twitter DM, public Facebook, Facebook messages, Facebook chat, Linkedin messages, public Google +, Google + messages, blog comments, Skype, text messages, Instagram, phone, voice mail, and several topically or geographically specific forums, groups and social networks. That’s a lot of relationship bait in the water.
THE LIE OF OPPORTUNITY
How do we justify this? How do we convince ourselves that slicing our attention so thin the turkey becomes translucent is a good idea?
We do it because we believe that more relationships provides more opportunity. I attended a social Media
Week once, chaired by Omojuwa and other bloggers in Nigeria and I heard sentences like these more often:
“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”
“Social media makes a big world smaller.”
“Linkedin is for people you know, Facebook is for people you used to know, Twitter is for people you want to know.”
All of these chestnuts are passed around like a flu strain because they make intuitive sense. But common, among them is the underlying premise that interacting with more people is inherently better than interacting with fewer people. I have always believed this to be true, and in fact have delivered the lines above while talking to friends and sometimes on my blog. But today, I’m no longer convinced.
Instead I wonder, what if we have it ALL wrong?
YOU DON'T KNOW
In addition to despair and shock and surprise, what I felt most about the death of a facebook friend was confusion. I found myself saying over and over “Geez, you think you know someone…” I had a similar reaction when I read about a Gary Speed's suicide a couple years ago and very few people saw it coming.
The reality is, we don’t KNOW hardly anyone.
You interact with someone quite a bit online, and you think you already figured out everything about them. You think they are one of a kind, most interesting, generous people you'd ever know.
You consider them a friend. I suspect social media created an avenue where you see everyone online, you monitor their tweets, their status (facebook,2go,whatsapp etc), PMs, DPs and then you assume you know them. It's a face behind the system, the mobile phone and most times what we type is not who we really are. Those stuffs people do online are just to make some feel among in these world that's on a tour of moral decadence . Some do stuffs online just to get attention, I know quite a number of people who only twit about sex but are virgins or circumstantially non-virgins. What we should know is social media creates a false intimacy, making you feel you know someone and you feel unnecessarily attached. Even in reality, you move closer to some people, share everything with them and still you don't know them or know who they are because you don't know what they are thinking and you are not the one thinking their thoughts.
Kenny Thomas is one of my closest buddy in social media, but she’s never been to my home. Tinaspice and I share a lot of views on Eba and Okoro soup but we've never had some in a plate to eat together. And lots more. Imagine that retweet from that big star or celeb and you think you are sort close and have the feeling of intimacy.
I consider these people (and many, many others) to be friends, and I’m thankful that social media has brought them into my life. But in comparison to my pre-social media friends (many of whom I’ve known for 10+ years), I know almost nothing about them.
Is that what we want – spending considerable time building large networks of shallow connections, potentially at the expense of deepening a few cherished friendships upon which we can truly rely?
I recognize this is not purely an either/or scenario, and relationships that began with a Twitter exchange or series of blog comments can flourish into treasured real-world ties.
But those situations where we “meet” someone through social media, have the opportunity to interact in real life, and then develop a relationship that creates true friendship are few and far between. And as social media gets bigger and more pervasive, this chasm becomes even more difficult to cross. As my own networks in social media have gotten larger, I’ve ended up talking about my personal life less, because a large percentage of that group don’t know me, or my GF, or my sisters, or my town, or my interests. I don’t want to bore people with the inanities of the everyday. (Facebook is the one exception, as I’ve always kept my personal account relatively small).
To some degree, I think this explains the popularity of Google + among people with very large followings on Twitter and/or Facebook. Google + provides a chance for a do-over, to create a new group of connections that are more carefully cultivated.
But that’s just medicating the symptoms, not curing the disease. Fundamentally, technology and our use of it isn’t – as we’ve all hoped – bringing us closer together. In fact, it may be driving us farther apart, as we know more and more people, but know less and less about each of them.
MAKING FRIENDS OUT OF CONNECTIONS
Maybe we should be focused less on making a lot of connections, and focused more on making a few real friends? I’m going to try to work on this, to identify people with whom I want to develop real friendships, and make a concerted effort to do so, even if it means answering fewer tweets and blog comments from a much larger group of casual connections.
We have to take at least some of these social media spawned relationships to the next level, otherwise what’s the point beyond generating clicks and newsletter subscribers?
You think you know someone, but you don’t. And that’s social media’s fault. But more so, our own.
I remember the days before social media when I would get 20 phone calls per day and probably go on midnight calls for the 'tolus' in my life, and felt exhausted by the pace of communication. Now we’ve traded the telephone for other connection points (I only get 2-3 calls per week, I don't even call anyone tho'), but the overall number of people calling and sending me texts faded away with no explanation like Elijah did.
Now the number of “inboxes” we possess is staggering: Email (3 accounts for me), public Twitter, Twitter DM, public Facebook, Facebook messages, Facebook chat, Linkedin messages, public Google +, Google + messages, blog comments, Skype, text messages, Instagram, phone, voice mail, and several topically or geographically specific forums, groups and social networks. That’s a lot of relationship bait in the water.
THE LIE OF OPPORTUNITY
How do we justify this? How do we convince ourselves that slicing our attention so thin the turkey becomes translucent is a good idea?
We do it because we believe that more relationships provides more opportunity. I attended a social Media
Week once, chaired by Omojuwa and other bloggers in Nigeria and I heard sentences like these more often:
“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”
“Social media makes a big world smaller.”
“Linkedin is for people you know, Facebook is for people you used to know, Twitter is for people you want to know.”
All of these chestnuts are passed around like a flu strain because they make intuitive sense. But common, among them is the underlying premise that interacting with more people is inherently better than interacting with fewer people. I have always believed this to be true, and in fact have delivered the lines above while talking to friends and sometimes on my blog. But today, I’m no longer convinced.
Instead I wonder, what if we have it ALL wrong?
YOU DON'T KNOW
In addition to despair and shock and surprise, what I felt most about the death of a facebook friend was confusion. I found myself saying over and over “Geez, you think you know someone…” I had a similar reaction when I read about a Gary Speed's suicide a couple years ago and very few people saw it coming.
The reality is, we don’t KNOW hardly anyone.
You interact with someone quite a bit online, and you think you already figured out everything about them. You think they are one of a kind, most interesting, generous people you'd ever know.
You consider them a friend. I suspect social media created an avenue where you see everyone online, you monitor their tweets, their status (facebook,2go,whatsapp etc), PMs, DPs and then you assume you know them. It's a face behind the system, the mobile phone and most times what we type is not who we really are. Those stuffs people do online are just to make some feel among in these world that's on a tour of moral decadence . Some do stuffs online just to get attention, I know quite a number of people who only twit about sex but are virgins or circumstantially non-virgins. What we should know is social media creates a false intimacy, making you feel you know someone and you feel unnecessarily attached. Even in reality, you move closer to some people, share everything with them and still you don't know them or know who they are because you don't know what they are thinking and you are not the one thinking their thoughts.
Kenny Thomas is one of my closest buddy in social media, but she’s never been to my home. Tinaspice and I share a lot of views on Eba and Okoro soup but we've never had some in a plate to eat together. And lots more. Imagine that retweet from that big star or celeb and you think you are sort close and have the feeling of intimacy.
I consider these people (and many, many others) to be friends, and I’m thankful that social media has brought them into my life. But in comparison to my pre-social media friends (many of whom I’ve known for 10+ years), I know almost nothing about them.
Is that what we want – spending considerable time building large networks of shallow connections, potentially at the expense of deepening a few cherished friendships upon which we can truly rely?
I recognize this is not purely an either/or scenario, and relationships that began with a Twitter exchange or series of blog comments can flourish into treasured real-world ties.
But those situations where we “meet” someone through social media, have the opportunity to interact in real life, and then develop a relationship that creates true friendship are few and far between. And as social media gets bigger and more pervasive, this chasm becomes even more difficult to cross. As my own networks in social media have gotten larger, I’ve ended up talking about my personal life less, because a large percentage of that group don’t know me, or my GF, or my sisters, or my town, or my interests. I don’t want to bore people with the inanities of the everyday. (Facebook is the one exception, as I’ve always kept my personal account relatively small).
To some degree, I think this explains the popularity of Google + among people with very large followings on Twitter and/or Facebook. Google + provides a chance for a do-over, to create a new group of connections that are more carefully cultivated.
But that’s just medicating the symptoms, not curing the disease. Fundamentally, technology and our use of it isn’t – as we’ve all hoped – bringing us closer together. In fact, it may be driving us farther apart, as we know more and more people, but know less and less about each of them.
MAKING FRIENDS OUT OF CONNECTIONS
Maybe we should be focused less on making a lot of connections, and focused more on making a few real friends? I’m going to try to work on this, to identify people with whom I want to develop real friendships, and make a concerted effort to do so, even if it means answering fewer tweets and blog comments from a much larger group of casual connections.
We have to take at least some of these social media spawned relationships to the next level, otherwise what’s the point beyond generating clicks and newsletter subscribers?
You think you know someone, but you don’t. And that’s social media’s fault. But more so, our own.
Friday 23 August 2013
KONJIFICATION
The following story is dedicated to all those who have ever woken up from a dream and wish they had dream a little further!
With swift deft hands he slowly draws imaginary pattern on her tummy, his lips were darting at her ear lobe. She could already feel her "kundalini" rising up to the magical ministration of his enchantment. He stops abruptly and sat at the edge of the bed with his shoulder and head downcast while he place his face in his hands. She sat up also and envelope him in a warm embrace from behind as her ripe and ample bosom where crushed to his rippling shoulders. Softly she said "I want you far more than you can imagine" those words where said with the same urgency as Kate Winslet in the famous car scene on Titanic. As if to prove the truth of her words she immediately began to massage his shoulders with her size 36 DD melon. She was making oscillatory movement with her mammaries while her hands reached for his broad chest and begin to fleetingly caress him. His skin was taut while her hands was soft like that of a professional masseuse. Her breath was coming in short breath as she was drinking in the wonderful sensation of exploring a virile young male flesh. Her hands briefly touched his phallus while a soft gasp escaped her mouth before she could control it.
Scenes of how they met was flashing through her mind. She remember meeting the young man at a drug store unabashedly requesting for latex condom from the female attendant while also giving her a slow deliberate look over. His eyes where searing into her flesh. All of a sudden she started to feel naked under his penetrating look. His gaze lingered on her mammaries enough to make her nipples to begin to get erect under her tank top. His eyes caught hers and seems to be saying "I know that I am having an effect on you". He cleared his throat and said in a soft timbre voice reminiscence of Vin Diesel "you must be new in this neighborhood? Suddenly her vocal cords blurted out "let me guess, you are the Cassanova around here."
His tongue slowly nibbling at her nipples violently but sweetly "ported" her back to the room and the numbing pleasure that he was ministering on her boobies. His tongue was sucking,nibbling and biting gently alternatively at both nipples. Her pudenda was flowing hot pre -cum like Ikogosi warm spring in Ekiti.
Abruptly he stopped his slow wonderful torture and began to tear off his clothe(the last protector of chastity). A sudden burst of urgency came over him to conquer and satiate his animalistic tendency using her "jade's gate" as a transport. As he was about to do so, he woke up to the disappointment that it was only a dream. His disappointment was as turgid as his erect third leg.
With swift deft hands he slowly draws imaginary pattern on her tummy, his lips were darting at her ear lobe. She could already feel her "kundalini" rising up to the magical ministration of his enchantment. He stops abruptly and sat at the edge of the bed with his shoulder and head downcast while he place his face in his hands. She sat up also and envelope him in a warm embrace from behind as her ripe and ample bosom where crushed to his rippling shoulders. Softly she said "I want you far more than you can imagine" those words where said with the same urgency as Kate Winslet in the famous car scene on Titanic. As if to prove the truth of her words she immediately began to massage his shoulders with her size 36 DD melon. She was making oscillatory movement with her mammaries while her hands reached for his broad chest and begin to fleetingly caress him. His skin was taut while her hands was soft like that of a professional masseuse. Her breath was coming in short breath as she was drinking in the wonderful sensation of exploring a virile young male flesh. Her hands briefly touched his phallus while a soft gasp escaped her mouth before she could control it.
Scenes of how they met was flashing through her mind. She remember meeting the young man at a drug store unabashedly requesting for latex condom from the female attendant while also giving her a slow deliberate look over. His eyes where searing into her flesh. All of a sudden she started to feel naked under his penetrating look. His gaze lingered on her mammaries enough to make her nipples to begin to get erect under her tank top. His eyes caught hers and seems to be saying "I know that I am having an effect on you". He cleared his throat and said in a soft timbre voice reminiscence of Vin Diesel "you must be new in this neighborhood? Suddenly her vocal cords blurted out "let me guess, you are the Cassanova around here."
His tongue slowly nibbling at her nipples violently but sweetly "ported" her back to the room and the numbing pleasure that he was ministering on her boobies. His tongue was sucking,nibbling and biting gently alternatively at both nipples. Her pudenda was flowing hot pre -cum like Ikogosi warm spring in Ekiti.
Abruptly he stopped his slow wonderful torture and began to tear off his clothe(the last protector of chastity). A sudden burst of urgency came over him to conquer and satiate his animalistic tendency using her "jade's gate" as a transport. As he was about to do so, he woke up to the disappointment that it was only a dream. His disappointment was as turgid as his erect third leg.
Wednesday 21 August 2013
Path not taking- 'Niyi Ademoroti
(Please note that the above title is not a "gbagaun". "Taking" here, refers to the future, not the usual "Taken" for the past. Thanks.)
I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this piece, I'll just keep going regardless, just keep on.
I'm in a bus at Oshodi, on my way home from "work", listening to White Lies' Big TV (album) after a quite "revealing" day.
Work was just as it always is, very… uneventful. Jumoke says I have the dream job, getting paid what a normal intern wouldn't earn, all for just tweeting and Facebook-ing. The problem? I don't quite feel like I'm in a dream. I am not happy. Why am I not happy?
I'm a social media intern (trust me, it is not half as glamorous as it sounds) at a lovely estate firm, where I have what I (thought I) always wanted - cool bosses and very nice co-workers -. I can remember telling a friend on my way to the interview, that I could never work there because of the distance from my house. I can remember when I walked in and saw the bosses about to interview me, I just knew I was going to take the job (because I was certain they would offer one ^_^); they seemed so cool compared to the bloody tight-asses I had my 3-months Industrial Placement with.
Now I sit in front of a laptop, 8am to 5pm, composing tweets and wall posts. Very easy. Very… unfulfilling.
Most of my classmates and friends will probably think I'm crazy, but, I hate my job. God, I hope my bosses do not see that.
Yes, I have the dream job, problem is, it's not my dream. Lekan has my dream job. Kind of. Not really. Well, Lekan is a friend who works at a very reputable publishing house (kind of sha), he is like the Knight over there. He works endlessly. Stays up late at night preparing proposals (he just explained to me what a proposal comprises of ^_^). He attends meetings, pitches in ideas, attends un-meetings (whatever that is). He's awesome and he has an awesome job. He's also about to get a screenwriting job for a very popular African series, yes, African.
I'm not saying I want Lekan's job, nor do I expect to be given such respect/responsibility accorded to him, he has been doing what he does for tons of years, I only just started writing very recently, and I'm not even nearly as good. I do not expect my opinions to matter considering the job experience I have is the 3 weeks (2 and a half weeks actually) I spent at my bloody - yes, I use that word again - 3 months Industrial Placement. I do not expect to be accorded that much responsibility, considering I'm basically just starting out the "office-life". (I just farted in this bus ^_^).
I'm not sure what I want, I just know what I do not want. I do not want a job that is not even nearly challenging. I do not want a job where I have to meet a target every month; I hate marketing. I do not want a job where I have to trek (or bike or drive around) the streets of Lagos every week. All these automatically rule out any future endeavour in real estate, considering it practically fuses up these three and shoves it in your barely-trained face.
I want a desk job. Not just any desk job (since that's what I have now, anyway). I want a job that will make me worry if I can actually do what they want me to. A desk job where I always have to think. A job that widens my horizon, that the biggest decision I have to take is not what property I'll have to pick as the Property of the Week on Facebook.
I want a job where I get to have meetings, chip in valuable ideas, write. I want a job where I actually have something to do. Even if I'm not doing what I want, I don't want to do something I don't want. I. Can. Never. Go. Into. Marketing. NEVER! I will NOT go out everyday looking for silly properties. Not for money. Not for grades. I would rather forge my Logbook. I would rather stay and suck off my father. NEVER.
I will probably have to suck it up here, and continue to tweet and Facebook for the next six months. It's better than having to do nothing, or going out to source for properties. But, I will keep on leaving my office at 5pm, very unfulfilled. Very unhappy.
I am @Niyi__ on twitter. Big thanks to @Uberchocmeista.
I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this piece, I'll just keep going regardless, just keep on.
I'm in a bus at Oshodi, on my way home from "work", listening to White Lies' Big TV (album) after a quite "revealing" day.
Work was just as it always is, very… uneventful. Jumoke says I have the dream job, getting paid what a normal intern wouldn't earn, all for just tweeting and Facebook-ing. The problem? I don't quite feel like I'm in a dream. I am not happy. Why am I not happy?
I'm a social media intern (trust me, it is not half as glamorous as it sounds) at a lovely estate firm, where I have what I (thought I) always wanted - cool bosses and very nice co-workers -. I can remember telling a friend on my way to the interview, that I could never work there because of the distance from my house. I can remember when I walked in and saw the bosses about to interview me, I just knew I was going to take the job (because I was certain they would offer one ^_^); they seemed so cool compared to the bloody tight-asses I had my 3-months Industrial Placement with.
Now I sit in front of a laptop, 8am to 5pm, composing tweets and wall posts. Very easy. Very… unfulfilling.
Most of my classmates and friends will probably think I'm crazy, but, I hate my job. God, I hope my bosses do not see that.
Yes, I have the dream job, problem is, it's not my dream. Lekan has my dream job. Kind of. Not really. Well, Lekan is a friend who works at a very reputable publishing house (kind of sha), he is like the Knight over there. He works endlessly. Stays up late at night preparing proposals (he just explained to me what a proposal comprises of ^_^). He attends meetings, pitches in ideas, attends un-meetings (whatever that is). He's awesome and he has an awesome job. He's also about to get a screenwriting job for a very popular African series, yes, African.
I'm not saying I want Lekan's job, nor do I expect to be given such respect/responsibility accorded to him, he has been doing what he does for tons of years, I only just started writing very recently, and I'm not even nearly as good. I do not expect my opinions to matter considering the job experience I have is the 3 weeks (2 and a half weeks actually) I spent at my bloody - yes, I use that word again - 3 months Industrial Placement. I do not expect to be accorded that much responsibility, considering I'm basically just starting out the "office-life". (I just farted in this bus ^_^).
I'm not sure what I want, I just know what I do not want. I do not want a job that is not even nearly challenging. I do not want a job where I have to meet a target every month; I hate marketing. I do not want a job where I have to trek (or bike or drive around) the streets of Lagos every week. All these automatically rule out any future endeavour in real estate, considering it practically fuses up these three and shoves it in your barely-trained face.
I want a desk job. Not just any desk job (since that's what I have now, anyway). I want a job that will make me worry if I can actually do what they want me to. A desk job where I always have to think. A job that widens my horizon, that the biggest decision I have to take is not what property I'll have to pick as the Property of the Week on Facebook.
I want a job where I get to have meetings, chip in valuable ideas, write. I want a job where I actually have something to do. Even if I'm not doing what I want, I don't want to do something I don't want. I. Can. Never. Go. Into. Marketing. NEVER! I will NOT go out everyday looking for silly properties. Not for money. Not for grades. I would rather forge my Logbook. I would rather stay and suck off my father. NEVER.
I will probably have to suck it up here, and continue to tweet and Facebook for the next six months. It's better than having to do nothing, or going out to source for properties. But, I will keep on leaving my office at 5pm, very unfulfilled. Very unhappy.
I am @Niyi__ on twitter. Big thanks to @Uberchocmeista.
Tuesday 13 August 2013
Let Them Go by Gbenga Oderinwale
For the past 6/7 sundays now, Pastor Tunde Bakare of Latter Rain Assembly Ogba-Lagos, has been talking about the inevitability of separation (Well... That's the church I attend whenever I'm in Lagos). That is, on your way of becoming what you are destined to be, some people will separate from you, whether you like it or not. Most times these separations can be hard to take but it must happen wanted or not. Well, the separation I'm talking about is not because the person changed location or something, I mean people walking out of your life (you get? Ok). Many of us have experienced a form of separation or the other, either from close friends, relatives, lovers or business partners etc, which we often find difficult to let them go. Well, what I learnt from the sermons of Pastor B (Pastor Tunde Bakare) is to let them go.
When people walk out of your life, they left because your destiny is not tied to theirs and they are done playing their own part, meaning you will better off without them. Don't make the mistake of trying to beg or convince them to stay, this may mar your destiny. You might beg them all you want and even if they stay they won't stay for your own well being. A typical example of separation can be found in Gen 13:1-18. Lot had requested for separation from Abraham, Abraham simply let Lot go and it was after letting him go that God blessed Abraham and his descendants. (Gen 13:14-18)
The second lesson I learnt is; when people walk out of your life, do not let your anger, fear, emotions push away those around you. There's a Yoruba saying that "No matter how bad a person is, there will be people around him" thus do not push away these people who are still with you because you are angry at what the other person did and then you get to generalise that every person could also leave you, this will be wrong for Yoruba people also say "if we close our eyes for the evil one to pass, the good one will pass and we won't know".
My conclusion is that, when people separate from us, we shouldn't be bitter/angry and become pessimistic about others around us, rather we should let those who left go and move on with our lives with the people around us and focus on things that lie ahead of us. So I'm saying to you LET THEM GO!
When people walk out of your life, they left because your destiny is not tied to theirs and they are done playing their own part, meaning you will better off without them. Don't make the mistake of trying to beg or convince them to stay, this may mar your destiny. You might beg them all you want and even if they stay they won't stay for your own well being. A typical example of separation can be found in Gen 13:1-18. Lot had requested for separation from Abraham, Abraham simply let Lot go and it was after letting him go that God blessed Abraham and his descendants. (Gen 13:14-18)
The second lesson I learnt is; when people walk out of your life, do not let your anger, fear, emotions push away those around you. There's a Yoruba saying that "No matter how bad a person is, there will be people around him" thus do not push away these people who are still with you because you are angry at what the other person did and then you get to generalise that every person could also leave you, this will be wrong for Yoruba people also say "if we close our eyes for the evil one to pass, the good one will pass and we won't know".
My conclusion is that, when people separate from us, we shouldn't be bitter/angry and become pessimistic about others around us, rather we should let those who left go and move on with our lives with the people around us and focus on things that lie ahead of us. So I'm saying to you LET THEM GO!
Sunday 11 August 2013
Mistakes as Learning Experiences
If there’s one thing that unites us all, it’s that we all suffer. We all triumph. We face obstacles in our lives and encounter things that throw us off our course and challenge our inner strength. That’s life, with the lesson often seen in retrospect. Without the difficult times, there would be no great times. Everything would just seem flat and uneventful, plain and boring.
There would be no impactful change without struggle. The beauty of life is overcoming what we think we cannot. Our self-esteem grows and we find strength in ourselves that we never knew existed.
This very point had me thinking about various struggles that I’ve been through in my life. I remember focusing mostly on the negative aspects of the situation. How badly I felt, how crappy the situation was, and how much I didn’t think things would ever change. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a vicious cycle.
But what if we focus on how our struggles change us and our lives for the better?
Would it be possible to improve negative situations, if we thought about how we might benefit from them?
When I was unhappy with myself, all I could think about was how much I screwed up my life. So many days I would curse myself for making some silly mistakes in life. Any all these negative situations and laments is just creating in me more negativity like sorrow, anger (if you truly know me, you'd see that a lot on my BBM PMs). But a fine young lady told me, "why not concentrate on what you could benefit from the negative than just lamenting about how bad it is? If I were u, I won't let people know what's going on in ma life at all".
That’s when I realized that I could rot in my own negativity or I could see things in a different light. Instead of cursing myself and “mistakes” , I’d rather call them “learning experiences”. I took time to appreciate God, family, friends and myself more because I have life to still make things right, I have God who is there for me and I have wonderful family and friends who's got me.
Most surprisingly of all, I now see struggles in a new light. Instead of cursing an uncomfortable time, I see it as a message to change. Whether I listen or not is up to me.
So as we start this week, let's concentrate on the lessons or positives we can derive from every negative circumstance. Take every negative situation as life teaching us a lesson. And no matter what you face this week, do not forget to wear your pretty smile and worry not about negative but the positive you should make out of it.
Have a blessed week guys.
There would be no impactful change without struggle. The beauty of life is overcoming what we think we cannot. Our self-esteem grows and we find strength in ourselves that we never knew existed.
This very point had me thinking about various struggles that I’ve been through in my life. I remember focusing mostly on the negative aspects of the situation. How badly I felt, how crappy the situation was, and how much I didn’t think things would ever change. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a vicious cycle.
But what if we focus on how our struggles change us and our lives for the better?
Would it be possible to improve negative situations, if we thought about how we might benefit from them?
When I was unhappy with myself, all I could think about was how much I screwed up my life. So many days I would curse myself for making some silly mistakes in life. Any all these negative situations and laments is just creating in me more negativity like sorrow, anger (if you truly know me, you'd see that a lot on my BBM PMs). But a fine young lady told me, "why not concentrate on what you could benefit from the negative than just lamenting about how bad it is? If I were u, I won't let people know what's going on in ma life at all".
That’s when I realized that I could rot in my own negativity or I could see things in a different light. Instead of cursing myself and “mistakes” , I’d rather call them “learning experiences”. I took time to appreciate God, family, friends and myself more because I have life to still make things right, I have God who is there for me and I have wonderful family and friends who's got me.
Most surprisingly of all, I now see struggles in a new light. Instead of cursing an uncomfortable time, I see it as a message to change. Whether I listen or not is up to me.
So as we start this week, let's concentrate on the lessons or positives we can derive from every negative circumstance. Take every negative situation as life teaching us a lesson. And no matter what you face this week, do not forget to wear your pretty smile and worry not about negative but the positive you should make out of it.
Have a blessed week guys.
Wasted Years
It is hard to let go and this story is not different from other stories of holding on to an EX thinking one day he/she is gonna come back to you.
Leye and Bola started dating when Bola was admitted into the same school as Leye. Leye was in 200L at this moment and the gap between them was appropriate. Leye loved Bola very much, at every opportunity he shows this love. Bola, well..... likes Leye (Shit! This is just wrong, she doesn't love him?). Often Leye complains about Bola's attitude and idea of not reciprocating his gestures. This was an issue that hanged over their relationship. And most times Leye's friends will tell him how cute they were but they never knew they had issues of her not loving back. Or what is the essence of loving a spouse without him/her loving you back? Despite Bola's various short comings Leye never stopped loving her, never wanted to leave her. But on a val's day which left an indelible mark in Leye's love life, bola dropped the bombshell. After a wonderful night out, Bola told Leye of her intention to end their 15 months relationship (cruel innit?). Saying she doesn't feel he's 'the one' (WTF is the one :/). Leye was absolutely devastated :'( cried himself to sleep like a baby that night.
*fasts forward to years later*
Leye and Bola got talking again, became kind of close :D (friend zone?). Between, Leye had been in 2 different relationships and just got out of the 2nd relationship, just because he was still in love with Bola while in those relationships. While Bola had remained single ever since waiting for 'the one' =)). In one of their talks (BBM chat). Bola told Leye that she still has feelings for him, which she has been trying not to admit. While discussing one thing led to another and they agreed to see the possibility of dating again. Leye was in Abuja where he's serving and Bola was still school in her final year. Bola told Leye if he wanted her he should come see her in school. Leye had plan to go see her when the opportunity comes. After a month Leye pinged Bola with the intention of informing her of his coming that weekend. They were gisting about 'friendzone' after a recent campaign of a mutual friend. (you know normal random gist before saying want you want say). And then Bola told him that he is actually in her friend zone :O. Leye then reminded her of her utterances that if he loves and wants her he should come see her in school (like prince charming going to rescue princess Fiona from her ivory tower). Bola was like 'what if I say I'm not saying that again nko, Talomamumisi, emi ni mo ni adegun mo de ni adeogun mo'. And after years of waiting for her to come back to him, she broke his heart again. Leye wasted 15months with her and another two years waiting for her to come back into his arms.
*clears throat* babes wicked sha. Leye had thot that he's love was back to him, but it was not to be. Leye's love for Bola changed to hate, contempt to a point that she disgust him.
This is why sometimes hanging on to that EX you are still in love with is not good. Let them go, if you were special and they really loved you then they won't let go. There's a limit of how close you can get with your ex, because feelings you had then can resurface.
All I can say for those in a similar situation, is to be strong, always maintain your dignity and integrity, and remain hopeful that everything will be okay. Don't let people play with your emotions. No need put by ebenezer olufioye, just leave am like that, no put by anybody.
Leye and Bola started dating when Bola was admitted into the same school as Leye. Leye was in 200L at this moment and the gap between them was appropriate. Leye loved Bola very much, at every opportunity he shows this love. Bola, well..... likes Leye (Shit! This is just wrong, she doesn't love him?). Often Leye complains about Bola's attitude and idea of not reciprocating his gestures. This was an issue that hanged over their relationship. And most times Leye's friends will tell him how cute they were but they never knew they had issues of her not loving back. Or what is the essence of loving a spouse without him/her loving you back? Despite Bola's various short comings Leye never stopped loving her, never wanted to leave her. But on a val's day which left an indelible mark in Leye's love life, bola dropped the bombshell. After a wonderful night out, Bola told Leye of her intention to end their 15 months relationship (cruel innit?). Saying she doesn't feel he's 'the one' (WTF is the one :/). Leye was absolutely devastated :'( cried himself to sleep like a baby that night.
*fasts forward to years later*
Leye and Bola got talking again, became kind of close :D (friend zone?). Between, Leye had been in 2 different relationships and just got out of the 2nd relationship, just because he was still in love with Bola while in those relationships. While Bola had remained single ever since waiting for 'the one' =)). In one of their talks (BBM chat). Bola told Leye that she still has feelings for him, which she has been trying not to admit. While discussing one thing led to another and they agreed to see the possibility of dating again. Leye was in Abuja where he's serving and Bola was still school in her final year. Bola told Leye if he wanted her he should come see her in school. Leye had plan to go see her when the opportunity comes. After a month Leye pinged Bola with the intention of informing her of his coming that weekend. They were gisting about 'friendzone' after a recent campaign of a mutual friend. (you know normal random gist before saying want you want say). And then Bola told him that he is actually in her friend zone :O. Leye then reminded her of her utterances that if he loves and wants her he should come see her in school (like prince charming going to rescue princess Fiona from her ivory tower). Bola was like 'what if I say I'm not saying that again nko, Talomamumisi, emi ni mo ni adegun mo de ni adeogun mo'. And after years of waiting for her to come back to him, she broke his heart again. Leye wasted 15months with her and another two years waiting for her to come back into his arms.
*clears throat* babes wicked sha. Leye had thot that he's love was back to him, but it was not to be. Leye's love for Bola changed to hate, contempt to a point that she disgust him.
This is why sometimes hanging on to that EX you are still in love with is not good. Let them go, if you were special and they really loved you then they won't let go. There's a limit of how close you can get with your ex, because feelings you had then can resurface.
All I can say for those in a similar situation, is to be strong, always maintain your dignity and integrity, and remain hopeful that everything will be okay. Don't let people play with your emotions. No need put by ebenezer olufioye, just leave am like that, no put by anybody.
Wednesday 7 August 2013
The Strength of Living
So, I and dad had a time-out and I saw a poster which states that :
"Is what you're living for worth dying for?"
As he (dad) was driving past the said sign, it occurred to me how strongly that question clashes with my personal beliefs. It's pretty easy to die for something. For all the praise a man would rightfully receive for jumping in front of a bus to save a stranger, I don't think that split-second decision would be a difficult one for a man to make. Who wouldn't go out as a hero, given the chance?
I mean, the average person devalues him or herself. On a personal level, people dislike themselves more intensely and deeply than they've ever held such feelings for another human being. Oh, sure, there are moments when they feel good about themselves, but those moments are fleeting and relatively rare. In almost all cases, those moments are brought on by praise from another person; people don't naturally feel good about themselves.
I'd go so far as to say people hope for a chance at that one, final, shining act of selflessness. They want to lay themselves down and finally leave the agonizing, day-to-day monotony of their miserable lives behind them - just as soon as they've done something worthy of earning their rest. So, yeah, it's easy to die for something, given the chance. There are a lot of things people consider to be worth dying for.
It's living for something that takes strength. People go to work every day just to earn money to feed their families, and then they come home to distract themselves with the things they've bought to offset the meaninglessness of it. That's it. Over, and over, and over again.
Get up, eat breakfast, commute, work, eat lunch, work, commute, eat dinner, distractions, sleep.
Get up, eat breakfast, commute, work, eat lunch, work, commute, eat dinner, distractions, sleep.
Get up, eat breakfast, commute, work, eat lunch, work, commute, eat dinner, distractions, sleep.
There's nothing to strive for. No sense of purpose. So what is it that they're living for? Why do they keep putting one foot in front of the other, when they can't even see if they're making any progress? When they don't even know what they're working toward?
People are living for hope, love, or both. They live for the tired smiles on their partners' faces when they finally step back through the front door. They live for the moment their children run up and wrap their arms around their legs, saying how much they missed them. They live for the chance that maybe, someday, they'll find adventure in the monotonous grind of their day-to-day lives, or find peace in the chaos of the other side of life. They live for the hope of something better, or the hope not to lose what they have. It sounds like a beautiful, simple truth, and it is, but people lose themselves in the poetic stuff and forget that it's still hard.
It takes strength to push through each stressful, tiring day, running only on the desire to find a better future. It takes strength to keep walking forward, your only drive being the love you hold for another, or the hope to one day be loved by another. It takes strength to live for love and hope, because you can't gain more of either; you can only try your best not to lose them.
It takes strength to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and ignore the scars and wrinkles; people do it without so much as a thought in complaint. It takes strength to forget the mistakes and obligations that weigh on your shoulders - just long enough to crack a smile. It takes unbelievable strength to laugh off the world's slights and move on with your life.
It is much, much harder to live for something than it is to die for something. Most people don't realize how strong they are; some don't even realize what it is they're putting all the effort toward. People bear the weight of the world on their shoulders every day, and they think themselves weak and worthless for it. They don't see that just standing up straight makes them strong. They don't see that just putting one foot in front of the other makes them valuable.
The answer to the question posed at the beginning of this piece, for every single person who reads it, is yes, whether they believe it or not.
If it wasn't, they wouldn't be reading it.
"Is what you're living for worth dying for?"
As he (dad) was driving past the said sign, it occurred to me how strongly that question clashes with my personal beliefs. It's pretty easy to die for something. For all the praise a man would rightfully receive for jumping in front of a bus to save a stranger, I don't think that split-second decision would be a difficult one for a man to make. Who wouldn't go out as a hero, given the chance?
I mean, the average person devalues him or herself. On a personal level, people dislike themselves more intensely and deeply than they've ever held such feelings for another human being. Oh, sure, there are moments when they feel good about themselves, but those moments are fleeting and relatively rare. In almost all cases, those moments are brought on by praise from another person; people don't naturally feel good about themselves.
I'd go so far as to say people hope for a chance at that one, final, shining act of selflessness. They want to lay themselves down and finally leave the agonizing, day-to-day monotony of their miserable lives behind them - just as soon as they've done something worthy of earning their rest. So, yeah, it's easy to die for something, given the chance. There are a lot of things people consider to be worth dying for.
It's living for something that takes strength. People go to work every day just to earn money to feed their families, and then they come home to distract themselves with the things they've bought to offset the meaninglessness of it. That's it. Over, and over, and over again.
Get up, eat breakfast, commute, work, eat lunch, work, commute, eat dinner, distractions, sleep.
Get up, eat breakfast, commute, work, eat lunch, work, commute, eat dinner, distractions, sleep.
Get up, eat breakfast, commute, work, eat lunch, work, commute, eat dinner, distractions, sleep.
There's nothing to strive for. No sense of purpose. So what is it that they're living for? Why do they keep putting one foot in front of the other, when they can't even see if they're making any progress? When they don't even know what they're working toward?
People are living for hope, love, or both. They live for the tired smiles on their partners' faces when they finally step back through the front door. They live for the moment their children run up and wrap their arms around their legs, saying how much they missed them. They live for the chance that maybe, someday, they'll find adventure in the monotonous grind of their day-to-day lives, or find peace in the chaos of the other side of life. They live for the hope of something better, or the hope not to lose what they have. It sounds like a beautiful, simple truth, and it is, but people lose themselves in the poetic stuff and forget that it's still hard.
It takes strength to push through each stressful, tiring day, running only on the desire to find a better future. It takes strength to keep walking forward, your only drive being the love you hold for another, or the hope to one day be loved by another. It takes strength to live for love and hope, because you can't gain more of either; you can only try your best not to lose them.
It takes strength to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and ignore the scars and wrinkles; people do it without so much as a thought in complaint. It takes strength to forget the mistakes and obligations that weigh on your shoulders - just long enough to crack a smile. It takes unbelievable strength to laugh off the world's slights and move on with your life.
It is much, much harder to live for something than it is to die for something. Most people don't realize how strong they are; some don't even realize what it is they're putting all the effort toward. People bear the weight of the world on their shoulders every day, and they think themselves weak and worthless for it. They don't see that just standing up straight makes them strong. They don't see that just putting one foot in front of the other makes them valuable.
The answer to the question posed at the beginning of this piece, for every single person who reads it, is yes, whether they believe it or not.
If it wasn't, they wouldn't be reading it.
Tuesday 6 August 2013
Masturbation and what you should know
Read on a friend's blog about a year ago about how good, healthy, fun-filled and psychological masturbation is. She writes erotic stuffs on her blog but they are good to educate people.
I had a heated argument with a friend before sleeping yesterday and we argued about masturbation. And I'm gonna state why after almost a year I agree with blaq (my friend with the erotic blog) that masturbation is oh ok.
With my sexual years of service I've seen people give names to masturbation just because they don't want the next person to decipher. During high school it was Spanking the monkey, choking the chicken during my Pre-degree days, teasing the trouser snake during undergraduate days, jacking off it is these days. But call it whatever you want, I'm sure we all did once, twice if not everyday. Because reliable studies consistently find that 95% of men and over 30% of women masturbate on a regular basis.
Gurls masturbate too. So I'm not just talking about guys. Atleast I know of some gurls using banana during high school and we all should be familiar with Dildo. But all these aside, is masturbating wrong??
Masturbation, defined by Anne Hooper, famous British sexologist (a sexologist is a scientist who studies sexual behavior – what a job, huh?), as “the stimulation of the genital organs to achieve sexual pleasure, most commonly with the hands and fingers.” She adds that masturbation is a “valuable method for sexual exploration and as a release for sexual frustrations.” If this can release you from sexual frustration and atleast save you from anyone disgracing you because of your urge for sex then this is oh ok enough.
Many psychologists say that masturbation is normal, and should be encouraged, if only for the possibility that they would engage in this behavior instead of actually having premarital sex with a partner and getting into another bunch of problems. This is true?? Yes. Wanking can reduce rate of premarital sex , rate of unwanted pregnancy and rate of rape. And it seems wanking is a solution to all this degrading factors of the society, so it's oh ok by me. And we should not forget that masturbation is having sex with yourself, so this can reduce contacting STDs.
Please I want you all to note that I'm saying masturbation is oh ok, I'm not saying it's good or bad. This is because the term 'good' is relative. So it's up to individuals to decide whether it is good or bad. But so many of us who cast those who masturbate also masturbates. If by any chance you do phone sex, you touch yourself (examining your boobs in some 'lustful' ways) then you do too.
And in the religion sense, I can say about christianity don't really know about other religions.
The Bible never explicitly mention masturbation or state whether or not masturbation is a sin. The Scripture most frequently pointed to in regards to masturbation is the story of Onan in Genesis 38:9-10. Some interpret this passage as saying that “spilling your seed” on the ground is a sin. However, that is not precisely what the passage is saying. God condemned Onan not for “spilling his seed” but because Onan refused to fulfill his duty to provide an heir for his brother. The passage is not about masturbation, but rather about fulfilling a family duty. A second passage sometimes used as evidence for masturbation’s being a sin is Matthew 5:27-30. Jesus speaks against having lustful thoughts and then says, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.” While there are parallels between this passage and masturbation, it is unlikely that masturbation was what Jesus was alluding to. So don't judge anyone based on religion, that's between him/her and God.
And for pleasure purpose, I agree with blaq that you are the only person who can f**k yourself better. And to even love (have good sex with) other people, you have to love yourself better(f**k yourself better). You can click on the link here to chek my friend's view..... http://www.blaqcoffeetots.blogspot.com/2012/07/touching-yourself.html?m=1 .
I just wanna say never castigate people or cast someone because they masturbate. By judging them you are already making yourself a sinner because the scripture's direction is that we should not judge. Let the issue of masturbation be left between the doer and God. And also we should learn to quit pretense because most people who criticize also masturbate but to shameful to agree or say they do.
I had a heated argument with a friend before sleeping yesterday and we argued about masturbation. And I'm gonna state why after almost a year I agree with blaq (my friend with the erotic blog) that masturbation is oh ok.
With my sexual years of service I've seen people give names to masturbation just because they don't want the next person to decipher. During high school it was Spanking the monkey, choking the chicken during my Pre-degree days, teasing the trouser snake during undergraduate days, jacking off it is these days. But call it whatever you want, I'm sure we all did once, twice if not everyday. Because reliable studies consistently find that 95% of men and over 30% of women masturbate on a regular basis.
Gurls masturbate too. So I'm not just talking about guys. Atleast I know of some gurls using banana during high school and we all should be familiar with Dildo. But all these aside, is masturbating wrong??
Masturbation, defined by Anne Hooper, famous British sexologist (a sexologist is a scientist who studies sexual behavior – what a job, huh?), as “the stimulation of the genital organs to achieve sexual pleasure, most commonly with the hands and fingers.” She adds that masturbation is a “valuable method for sexual exploration and as a release for sexual frustrations.” If this can release you from sexual frustration and atleast save you from anyone disgracing you because of your urge for sex then this is oh ok enough.
Many psychologists say that masturbation is normal, and should be encouraged, if only for the possibility that they would engage in this behavior instead of actually having premarital sex with a partner and getting into another bunch of problems. This is true?? Yes. Wanking can reduce rate of premarital sex , rate of unwanted pregnancy and rate of rape. And it seems wanking is a solution to all this degrading factors of the society, so it's oh ok by me. And we should not forget that masturbation is having sex with yourself, so this can reduce contacting STDs.
Please I want you all to note that I'm saying masturbation is oh ok, I'm not saying it's good or bad. This is because the term 'good' is relative. So it's up to individuals to decide whether it is good or bad. But so many of us who cast those who masturbate also masturbates. If by any chance you do phone sex, you touch yourself (examining your boobs in some 'lustful' ways) then you do too.
And in the religion sense, I can say about christianity don't really know about other religions.
The Bible never explicitly mention masturbation or state whether or not masturbation is a sin. The Scripture most frequently pointed to in regards to masturbation is the story of Onan in Genesis 38:9-10. Some interpret this passage as saying that “spilling your seed” on the ground is a sin. However, that is not precisely what the passage is saying. God condemned Onan not for “spilling his seed” but because Onan refused to fulfill his duty to provide an heir for his brother. The passage is not about masturbation, but rather about fulfilling a family duty. A second passage sometimes used as evidence for masturbation’s being a sin is Matthew 5:27-30. Jesus speaks against having lustful thoughts and then says, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.” While there are parallels between this passage and masturbation, it is unlikely that masturbation was what Jesus was alluding to. So don't judge anyone based on religion, that's between him/her and God.
And for pleasure purpose, I agree with blaq that you are the only person who can f**k yourself better. And to even love (have good sex with) other people, you have to love yourself better(f**k yourself better). You can click on the link here to chek my friend's view..... http://www.blaqcoffeetots.blogspot.com/2012/07/touching-yourself.html?m=1 .
I just wanna say never castigate people or cast someone because they masturbate. By judging them you are already making yourself a sinner because the scripture's direction is that we should not judge. Let the issue of masturbation be left between the doer and God. And also we should learn to quit pretense because most people who criticize also masturbate but to shameful to agree or say they do.
Thursday 1 August 2013
At the mention of HIV test...
This particular story may or may not reflect to some the importance of taking HIV test. But really, at the mention of HIV test, how do you feel? One of the moments people fear the most is when they go for HIV test or have to take HIV test because of some medical, social reasons.
I can boldly say that no matter how courageous you are, you will lose some 'pound' of courage/boldness. It is not just sex that I'm laying emphasis on. I know you all are knowledgeable and you'd know that you can contact the virus from other sources and these sources are closer to you or surrounds you more than sex (unsafe). That's why I think at the mention of HIV test, all courage must bow!
Lemme share with you my experience and a friend's case.
We had a medical week at church and on the last day we all had to take HIV test. I always make sure I avoid HIV test not just because I'm wayward but it's HIV you can never be too sure. Like seriously it's HIV you can get it from almost anything. But that day, I couldn't dodge it. My mum was one of the people in charge. I started sweating profusely after my blood sample was taken. But at the end it came out negative, I didn't pass (positive)..... Lol
Now to my friend's case. She pinged a late night just to share her story with me....
"I had a bit of health issues, it led to having series of surgery. Gbotemi, I go tell you one case wey you go know wetin happen to me.
I was admitted on a friday around 6am and was still on check till sunday before they decided to take me in for surgery on monday. The doctor came around and said they needed to carry out some tests, that they have to take some precaution. They had to examine my urine, blood. And she told me they have to carry out HIV test. Instantly, my heart skipped. She dropped a bomb. I started feeling high temperature, I had a feel I was growing goose pimples inside of me. She took the blood sample anyways and left.
My dad was with me but my mom and step mom were sent away. Because of panic, I urinated thrice in 15mins. And my dad was like kilo se e (what's wrong with you?). I told him nothing while I tried to hide my shaky voice. A nurse came to check my BP twice and it was rising on the two occasions. They didn't understand what was making my BP increase. They felt it was the fear of the surgery. To me I know say na HIV test dey kill me small small.
And after 2hours, I couldn't get the result. At this stage I started recounting the number of unprotected sex I've had, the unsterilized blades I used in the past, the blood I've been in contact with. I was already thinking about how to live with the stigma and probably flee from friends and family.
Finally, she came but didn't say anything. She dropped the case note on the table. She left to prepare for theatre. I couldn't wait , I peeped inside the file. And my cheeks lifted with the running smile from within, I sighed and the BP machine wey dey my hand come dey reduce. Then I said to myself, let's do this surgery".
As great as the fear of taking HIV test is, we should endeavour to take cautions. Make sure you protect yourself, don't have an unprotected sex unless he/she is your partner for life. Be faithful to your partner...... If you can't , then Abstain!
Also be careful of sharp objects and always use sterilized blades or new blades. We all know all these warnings or procedures, we should take note of them and observe them. So that at the mention of HIV test , we won't die before death.
Finally, let's show love to people living with the virus. Let's care for them and don't stigmatize. You never know what's coming for you too..... Give them your heart.
I can boldly say that no matter how courageous you are, you will lose some 'pound' of courage/boldness. It is not just sex that I'm laying emphasis on. I know you all are knowledgeable and you'd know that you can contact the virus from other sources and these sources are closer to you or surrounds you more than sex (unsafe). That's why I think at the mention of HIV test, all courage must bow!
Lemme share with you my experience and a friend's case.
We had a medical week at church and on the last day we all had to take HIV test. I always make sure I avoid HIV test not just because I'm wayward but it's HIV you can never be too sure. Like seriously it's HIV you can get it from almost anything. But that day, I couldn't dodge it. My mum was one of the people in charge. I started sweating profusely after my blood sample was taken. But at the end it came out negative, I didn't pass (positive)..... Lol
Now to my friend's case. She pinged a late night just to share her story with me....
"I had a bit of health issues, it led to having series of surgery. Gbotemi, I go tell you one case wey you go know wetin happen to me.
I was admitted on a friday around 6am and was still on check till sunday before they decided to take me in for surgery on monday. The doctor came around and said they needed to carry out some tests, that they have to take some precaution. They had to examine my urine, blood. And she told me they have to carry out HIV test. Instantly, my heart skipped. She dropped a bomb. I started feeling high temperature, I had a feel I was growing goose pimples inside of me. She took the blood sample anyways and left.
My dad was with me but my mom and step mom were sent away. Because of panic, I urinated thrice in 15mins. And my dad was like kilo se e (what's wrong with you?). I told him nothing while I tried to hide my shaky voice. A nurse came to check my BP twice and it was rising on the two occasions. They didn't understand what was making my BP increase. They felt it was the fear of the surgery. To me I know say na HIV test dey kill me small small.
And after 2hours, I couldn't get the result. At this stage I started recounting the number of unprotected sex I've had, the unsterilized blades I used in the past, the blood I've been in contact with. I was already thinking about how to live with the stigma and probably flee from friends and family.
Finally, she came but didn't say anything. She dropped the case note on the table. She left to prepare for theatre. I couldn't wait , I peeped inside the file. And my cheeks lifted with the running smile from within, I sighed and the BP machine wey dey my hand come dey reduce. Then I said to myself, let's do this surgery".
As great as the fear of taking HIV test is, we should endeavour to take cautions. Make sure you protect yourself, don't have an unprotected sex unless he/she is your partner for life. Be faithful to your partner...... If you can't , then Abstain!
Also be careful of sharp objects and always use sterilized blades or new blades. We all know all these warnings or procedures, we should take note of them and observe them. So that at the mention of HIV test , we won't die before death.
Finally, let's show love to people living with the virus. Let's care for them and don't stigmatize. You never know what's coming for you too..... Give them your heart.
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