Dating is Dead : Social Media effect.

Dating is dead. So says the media.

Girls, stop expecting guys to make any formal attempt at winning your affections. Don’t sit around waiting for a boy/guy/man to make you a priority, communicate his intentions, or even call you on the phone. Exclusivity and intentionality are ancient rituals, things of the past, and misplaced hopes.

I beg to differ. It’s not that this new line of thinking is necessarily untrue today, or that it’s not the current and corrupt trend of our culture. It’s wrong. One of our most precious pursuits, that of a life-long partner for all of life, is tragically being relegated to tweets, texts, and Facebook pokes, to ambiguous flirtation and fooling around. It’s wrong.

If you’ve been away from the dating scene for long, you may be surprised to find how much has changed. A nervous phone call has been replaced with an impersonal note or text; a private break-up has become a public spectacle. Ladies now take to twitter/facebook and other social media networks to tell people that they are tired of their relationships. Instead of settling your disputes or making a gentle get away(break up), we prefer to now take advice from number of followers /online friends who are in the shallow of their own errors.

Like I said in two of my plenty posts (kidding about plenty) , I'm not campaigning against social media but I'm not a big fan of it. There’s no doubt that social media sites, such as Facebook, LinkedIn, BBM and Twitter, have improved our lives in many ways. It’s free and easy to stay in touch with family and friends, find a job, or boost the visibility of a business, but its impact on the dating world has raised a host of concerns.

Arguably, subscribers to social media would say social media made contact easier. Yes it is true, I like the fact too. I met pool of ladies through it but only one metamorphosed into dating. I'm thankful for that. But please don't let's not forget the age of zero social media(or its awareness, because if you are not aware of an entity then it doesn't exist). Social media makes getting a date (and breaking up with a partner) as simple as the click of a mouse. This can have a number of positive and negative side effects. Because social media sites take away the immediacy of person-to-person contact, men and women are more likely to initiate contact than they once were. Distance, a busy schedule and lack of access to potential partners are no longer barriers to dating.

On the negative side, for those looking for a committed, long-term relationship, social media may be making it too easy to meet people. Easy accessibility to an enormous pool of potential partners may be contributing to serial dating (juggling multiple relationships at one time), promiscuity and infidelity. Though we’re able to contact a long list of people, social media sites may not be enabling the deep, long-lasting companionship that many hope to find. Rather than investing in one or two serious relationships, people may find themselves only superficially engaged in a series of short-term interactions.

You can learn a lot about a person through profiles and blogs before agreeing to meet. If they tweet, you can even find out mundane details about what they had for lunch or who they hung out with after work.

But even with extensive detective work, the truth is you never really know what you’re going to get. While social networking sites attract millions of smart, well-adjusted people, there are just as many people lying about who they are, what they do and how they look. Some are outright dangerous. The truth is you never know which of these individuals will show up looking to take you on a date. Like the case of Bimbo Eyinade, who went to archi (somewhere in OAU) but was disappointed with the look and had to run. Oh! Abdulahi's story is funny too but story for another day.

Depending on your privacy settings, status updates may allow your entire online social network to see the changes that take place in your personal life. Met a new beau? Great, but now the dilemmas begin: Who changes their Facebook status first? What if the other doesn’t reciprocate? Who says I love you first? By that, dating is dying and genuine dating chances are breaking because one party picked loving through his/her heart rather than through BBM status, twitter etc.

These are the killers of healthy relationship.

Someone once accused me of stating problems, but not solving it. Infact I'm not sorry to say i had a burst out with someone so dear because I couldn't give the solution to what I think is a recurring problem. But for me I think we in ourselves know the solution(s). Look inwardly into the problem, what caused it, how you got in.