FROM WHERE IT BEGINS… –. Haastrup Steven Adeshope.

Let’s get it straight – the societal transformation we are looking for begins with you and me. And the best place to start is from the confession room.

Welcome to LeadingYOU – a production of #StevenSpeaks. My name is Haastrup Steven Adeshope.

Aren’t we all guilty as charged? Shouldn’t we all stand penitent in the confession room, our heads buried in our palms? Let us turn out gaze this morning to the typical Nigerian parent. He wants the best for his children but it in on his watch that the seed of indiscipline, lawlessness and corruption reverberating through the nation is sown.

You can preach do as I say but not as I do behind the pulpit but certainly not in the home. It won’t sell. Every one of us remembers, at least, one incidence in which our parents’ advice backfired. The advice, as well intentioned as it might be, failed the crucial test of positive role modeling. The news went round in my days about a father that told his child to tell his creditors he was not home. The child sighting the creditors rushed to them, saying, “My father said I should tell you he is not home, even though he is behind the tree in the backyard hiding” There was another case of a child who witnessed the illicit affair between his mom and a lover. The lover wanting to keep the mouth of child sealed showered him with gifts. One day, the child annoyed his father, who decided to deny him of his favorite chocolate as a punishment. The child’s response opened a can of worms. “Alright then, I will go to my second father. Did you not say you are traveling tomorrow? My second father will move in as soon as you are gone, and he will buy me chocolate.”

The family, my dear reader, is the foundation of any society. If change must come, it must have the family as its first point of call. It is here that the child’s personality and character are formed. It is here that prejudice against other ethnic groups is encouraged or discouraged. It is here that indiscipline is bred. It is here that discipline is enforced. The future of our nation is not determined by the quality of debate in the National Assembly but by the decisions that are made at every home. When you ask your child not to be friend with a friend from poor parentage, you sow the seed of class consciousness. When you berate other ethnic groups in the presence of your child, you lay the foundation for ethnic prejudice. When you offer bribe to get your child admission or help her secure examination questions, you are encouraging a lifetime of bribery and corner cutting.

Each action or inaction at the home of every Nigeria affects the whole nation. It is here we raise future leaders – skilled, visionary, responsible and accountable. When we teach the children the beauty and the benefit of delayed gratification, we sow the seed of patience and good judgment. If we are not making the right choices at home, then we need to plead guilty before the court of societal change.

 

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