BRO CODE by Mosco

These days, men spend all their time talking about….women! (Like that isn’t obvious enough) and of course sports and other random topics.

So, in going against the trend, we shall be talking solely about the REAL MAN (just kidding, how’s that going to be fun?) ; here-in referred to as a “BRO”, and the many rules guiding bro’s since the beginning of time as to how a bro must conduct himself amongst other bro’s and chicks too *insert lecherous grin here*.

It is a Bro’s solemn duty to always abide by the bro code in his quest for epicness, so before we proceed, raise your right hand and solemnly swear that you shall always uphold the requirements of the bro code and make amends for previous short-comings.

Although “the bro code” has been passed on from one generation of bro’s to another but for a long time; the bro code has not been codified in a single document. It is a document thought to have originated shortly after Judas betrayed Jesus and other bro’s decided that this un-bro-ly conduct could reflect badly on other bro’s.

So, here it is bro’s, the bro code…in no particular order;

“A bro does not choose his nickname; a nickname is bestowed upon you by your fellow bro’s, either as a punishment or a reward for epic deeds”. Do not attempt to change or complain about your nickname, be glad that your bro’s have extended their warmth in replacing your given name (which is most likely something boring) with something more embarrassing and befitting.

Thomas was “doubting Thomas”, Jesus even named Peter “the rock on whom I shall build my church” (Yes, Dwayne Johnson, we know you stole Peter’s nickname).

“When Bro’s go out to get drinks, all Bro’s must contribute to get the bill paid”. This is not the time to answer strange phone calls, not even the call of nature; when the waiter brings the bill, sit your ass down and chip in, like the real bro that you are. The only clause to this rule is if the bro’s have agreed beforehand that a single bro should handle the bill alone.

“A bro never tells his Bro’s main chick about his side chicks”. In this era where real men are scarce and loudmouths are everywhere, real Bro’s are reminded of this obligation; you should at all times convince your bro’s main chick that she is the only chick, kapish?

Selective amnesia is recommended in this situation; your bro is faithful to his main chick, the chick he was squeezing when you walked into the house the other day is a figment of your imagination (*brings out that nameless device from Men in Black*).

Additionally, this rule was created for unity and harmony among bro’s; “A bro’s bro is also your bro….if you do not like the said bro, it should only be mentioned when your bro’s bro has left”. In line with this, if your bro brings along his bro for drinks or to come watch a game, it is your duty to give your bro’s bro a sense of belonging.

No bitching about how your bro’s bro is sloppy or how his voice is as loud as a Pentecostal church’s loudspeaker. None of that pettiness, always maintain infinite patience with your bro’s bro.

“A bro’s girlfriend is perfect….until she dumps him”; your bro’s girlfriend is perfect, not a negative word shall be uttered about her out of respect for your bro. However, this rule becomes redundant when she dumps your bro! Once she becomes an ex, feel free to talk about her bow-legs, her “a-cup” boobs amongst other major flaws. Don’t also forget to mention that she was never good enough for your bro in the first place; of course, all of these comments must be unanimously agreed upon by all bro’s.

“A Bro must never shed tears”; (Except he receives a very hot slap from a MOPOL/Soldier/Lagos Conductor/Agbero) a bro must never be seen to shed tears, any and every happening must be borne with a straight face and all tears carefully dammed behind a bro’s eyes.

What shall bro’s be without love? Thus, the cardinal principle of Bro-ness is “Love your neigh-bro as yourself”. We live in a world of questioned sexuality so you know this “love” involves no physical contact whatsoever except a handshake, a slap on the back and the occasional “shoulder-bump” when you haven’t seen your bro in a long time.

“When hooking up with a group of chicks, one Bro must take one for the team and hook up with the ugly chick” (I don’t have to explain that there’s always an ugly girl in a group of girls, all bro’s know this) Real Bro’s must not be seen to be “hustling” over fine chicks, thus this rule, every bro must take one for the team once in a while. Amen?
“When your bro’s girlfriend calls to ask where your bro is and why he’s not picking up his calls; YOU must always lie that he’s at your place….sleeping”. This is your unimpeachable duty as a bro, and then of course, you have to call your bro to get the scoop of where he really is and align your lies (bro’s shouldn’t get caught in a conflicting lie).

“When bro’s take a picture, at least two of them must keep a straight face”; none of that nonsense new age pouting or trying to look “cute”; you must look like a BRO and nothing less! Real Bro’s DO NOT smile in pictures or take “mirror pictures”; if you’ve ever taken a picture in the mirror with your iPhone5 and a cute smile on your face, you shouldn’t be reading this, you’re wife material already.

“Where a Bro knows he has no chance of scoring with a chick, he is obligated to refer the said chick to another Bro”; this rule has other sub-sections, “In the event that two Bro’s lock/clock on the same woman, the Bro who has been without a woman the longest is given the first shot (a shot that must be taken within 24 hours, before being passed on”.

Inevitably, bro’s must occasionally clock on the same chick (na only you like better thing?), Troy went to war over Helen (if only they had read the bro code).

“A bro shall not damage another bro’s chances to get laid; real bro’s do not cock-block!” In the event that your bro is telling lies just to score a chick, it is your duty as a bro to back his lies up. If he says he lives in Banana Island, you must remind him that he owns the entire Island, any lie your bro tells must be backed up by another bro (solely in the event of trying to score a chick).

Concerning your bro’s relations, your bro’s mom is always off-limits (forget that crappy movie “MILF”); additionally, a bro will not sleep with another bro’s sister. However, a bro is allowed to be vocal about her level of attractiveness. You will never be good enough for your bro’s sister, so do not attempt to sever the ties that bind bro’s by shagging his sister.

In conclusion, there is honour amongst bro’s, so another key rule in the Bro code is “A bro must honour his father, for he was once a bro”. No matter how much of a bro you are, an older bro laid the foundation of epicness by sizing up a worthy mate and gave birth to the epicness that is you! If you doubt your father’s prowess as a bro, stare at your mama. Enough said!

P:S This is by no means an exhaustive and all-encompassing version of the bro-code, just a random selection of the most interesting aspects of the bro code.

Leap of Faith and Purpose

Not trying to go religious on you but if at all I do so, there's nothing bad in it. Let's reflect about faith, taking steps to fulfill our purpose on earth.

A leap of faith in its commonly used meaning is the act of believing in or accepting something intangible or unprovable or without empirical evidence.
The Phrase 'leap of faith' is attributed to a philosopher, Soren Kierkegaad. He believes that even no matter how religious you are, for you to fulfill your purpose(s) you must take a step or make efforts believing that what you see afar will come true or you'll get there.

There are times in our life where we reach a chasm(a deep crack or opening in the ground). We find ourselves at the edge of a gap between where we are and getting to that next level. We know we want to be on the other side. We can see it and yet we are standing still at the edge staring down and the gap between where we are and where we want to be. Even though the distance between our ledge and the ledge of where we want to be is not beyond our capabilities, we don't jump. We could if we commit ourselves to jump from one side to the other without falling into the gap. Yet, we stand there frozen.
 
At those times, instead of taking that leap, we start backing away from the ledge. We let our fear and self doubt take over. We let the comfort of what we know dominate over what could be and what we wish for truly in our hearts. As we back up we fall into our old circumstances and behavior. Even though we have worked hard to get away from those circumstances and or behavior, it is what we know and what we are comfortable with. Then, in our minds we see the retreat as failure.
 
What we do not recognize is that backing up for a moment is how we create success. Backing up allows us two advantages, we can confirm that we do not want to live on this side of the chasm. Think of it as a parting taste of what was. Even more than that last taste, think of it as what is needed to truly get to the other side, because in fact what you are doing is backing up so that you can take a running start and clear that gap with ease. So there is no failure, only backing up to take a running start, because failure, if you insist on using that word, is what is needed to create success. Without failure there is no success, it is what's needed to get that running start to take that leap.
 
So don't be afraid of backing up, or once again, I know you want to say fail. Failure is part of success. The idea though, is not to back up too far. If you do, once you take that running start you will be worn out before you reach the chasm to leap, and you will stay stuck until you regain your energy. You have to recognize that you are backing up and you have to stop and commit to moving forward with your life.
 
Once you take that run towards the edge, one of three things will happen. There are those that the fear will take over and they will stop well short of the edge. There are those who will try and stop but wait to long and fall into the gap. They fall into worse circumstances, not because they could not move forward, but because they were consumed with doubt once they jumped. Then there are those who commit and take that leap of faith and easily make to the other side.
 
The more you fear the gap the bigger the gap becomes in your mind. That is just your perception, the gap never changes in size. Crossing the gap, if you commit, you can always make it, but your fear controls how you see it.
 
Commit today to moving forward. Believe in yourself and in the life you want to create.  The life you want is on the other side of the chasm. Are you going to jump or stay stuck on this side? Take a leap of faith and break free.  It is in those moments when you leap that you are truly free. There you are in the air, and it seems as that time for a moment gets suspended. Your senses are aware of everything going on and you feel fully alive. You are hyper focused on the approaching ledge and landing safely on the other side. It is that moment that you truly leave the past behind as your mind becomes clear of everything that was holding you back. It is in those moments that you become truly connected to your purpose.
 
Your purpose is always to move forward in life. Your purpose is not to avoid the leap by burying yourself in the safety of routine. Your purpose is not avoiding life in front of a TV or computer or electronic device. Your purpose is not escaping life with alcohol, drugs, food, sex or other. Your purpose is moving forward creating more, living more, feeling more and being alive. You cannot be connected to purpose staying stuck on this side of the chasm. Take that leap and feel alive. Land on the other side and leave the past behind. Don't fear falling back as it is just you getting ready to take a running start. Start running and take that leap, that leap of faith. 

Thank God for Myles Munroe..... He inspired this post. You people should get pursuit of purpose by him, awesome book. Do have a wonderful week...

The Surprise (cheating)

What other explanation can there possibly be for standing outside my girlfriend's apartment while she and her EX are both inside, doing God only Knows what?

How else can I explain the overriding impulse to slink guiltily away, before somebody notices me lurking like peeping Tom in the Pre-dawn shadows?

This is really painful and sickening. Sometimes even with my not too complex mind, I wish we shared 99% of our DNA with ostriches rather than chimps. It would make us more prone to bury our heads when faced with such unpalatable situations. *I know this because I saw ostriches almost everyday during high school, so I know their ways. NVM tho' .

I think this whole debacle would hurt a little less if it weren't her 20th bday and despite my meticulous plans, so that I'd be the first person she sees today is now as deflated as my ego. The worst thing of all, I'm standing here like a prize moron with a dozen roses in one hand and in one hand gifts like hand-made biscuits, chocolates.......

I've been planning to surprise her for weeks. With no money on me, I had to sell some stuffs, got small loan from sola (a friend). I never knew I'd end up crying. Though this is strange but I saw it coming. She still laugh and whine around her Ex because of one flashy car, displays him on BBM. But I thought it was only that she was missing him, which is almost normal to miss memories with an oldie (EX). To the extent of asking him for financial assistance without my knowledge. Might not be as rich as the EX but I love her. At least I didn't ignore or cheat on her like he did.


Sometimes I wish I can grow boobs, considering my luck with Les Dames (the ladies). I'm almost certain that a man with his own boobs will never be bored. I don't mean 'man-boobs' or some gbengish(from gbenga) boobs though, I mean proper girly-bumps.

I understand she had good times with this Ex and she suffered heartbreak. I did exploit this just as a way to get her heart and convince her I was a better option.

I saw the light of the room and the curtain of the room twitch and Panic rises again ; should I stay and confront her or just run-away? Could I come back later and pretend I know nothing of her overnight guest?
And all of a sudden, tope her neighbour and a friend came out. It was still around 5:30am. She saw the gifts in my hands, gave me a little hug and asked if I've seen my GF but with the look on my face she knew I already have a clue of what's happening in my GF's room.

Then my GF came out of the front door after tope knocked to inform her of my arrival or presence. She bumped out with just towel tied up to her girly-bumps. She looked at me emotionlessly and folds her arms across her chest. She frankly told me "hey I'm sorry, I still love michael (the EX). He's a part of me I couldn't do without". Tried convincing her but vain was the end result. The Ex then came out with a funny smile on his face. And straight up, I jab my fist out and punch him in the mouth, he tried to punch back but I was pretty much a dodger. At that moment I feel my balls drop back into place. I was a man again because love filled me with uterus and I became soft for her. But now I have testosterone in me.

I dropped all the gifts afterwards and I left. I planned a surprise but met a surprise. Do have a 'bitchful' birthday, you Slutface.

Now I believe, there's no honesty in any relationship, girls are just bunch of sluts.
Maybe this is just hasty generalization. I have friends (girls) who are pretty awesome and are not anyway near "sluttery".


*Note that this post is not about me and all the characters are not real...... Just me creating what to reflect on.

Cheating!!!

friendzone

The almost new trending word is friendzone. Twitter, facebook, BBM and even 2go are the serious platform of the discussion about the term. I get seriously confused these days not just because of the new relationship term but because I'm deeply rooted in it. So I sum up all my meanings of it to just one Which is, Friendzone is what you attain after you fail to impress a woman you're attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, "You're such a good friend". To me friendzone has two sides, the side where you want a sexual or romantic relationship with someone while the other side is the other person not wanting it!


Some men who claim to be in the friend zone believe that they are entitled to a relationship by being kind or caring, thereby putting the blame on the recipient of these actions for not wanting a relationship. This behavior has made the concept of the friend zone charged with negative connotations, and anyone using the term are now often seen as expressing this form of entitlement and blame, even if they are in fact only expressing the undesirability of the situation.

There are differing explanations of why you can end up in the friendzone. But for me, my own explanations are Nigerian, civil and true!

One is the MR NICE GUY syndrome. Where you are kind and caring to a gurl you love and she sees you as nothing more than a brother! Read on a friend's blog that girls don't really dig the Nice guy thing anymore, they go for the bad guys and come crying for help from the MR nice Guy.

A girl can also get friendzoned but it is not really common.
It is actually some people's fault they get friendzoned.
Seriously I know it's fun to laugh at guys who are stuck in the friend zone, but I'm getting a little tired of them blaming the girls for their status. No one told you to become a bench when her feet got tired. Look in the mirror friend zoned dude!! Maybe the problem is you! When you want a girl, while not tell her you want her. Stop playing the friendship thingy. That maybe one day she will jump on you and understand you love her. It happens only in movies.

Then again, maybe she does know and you're the one who is clueless to the hints she's giving you that she's just not into you that way. You know it is possible for a guy and girl to just be friends. You're the one who made it awkward by falling in love. That was the case in 500 days of summer! But if you've seen Araromire(figurine), Ramsey Noah's kinda Friendzone is the greatest ever.


Having someone carry you over puddles and chauffeur you to dates might seem great at first, but eventually you start to lose all respect for a guy who does whatever you say. Like seriously u can't be more than a friend if you follow her to all the shows. One girl I know actually got a guy friend to come over every day to just gist about Gays and lesbian. And when I told her the guy is in love with her, she said "eww I can't even date that gay".  Let that be a cautionary tale for you, friend zone prone guys.


I and Gbenga are victims of friendzone. But in our own case(s), it is with our EX. We love them so much that after break up we still wanna continue loving them. But they on the other side see us as friends or brothers. Oh well! I guess they are reading this too, we love you girls. I'm sure gbenga is tired of the valley of friend zone.

One of the ways of how to get out of this zone is be bold to tell her you love her, it's either a yes or no.

Also stop the mr Nice guy thingy....... I'm not saying you should stop been nice but be a hard guy. Let her know there's a difference between being Nice and what you feel for her.For many people, a big distinction between "friendship" and "relationship" is the way they touch. There are platonic ways to touch someone, and romantic ways, and the boundary is different for different people. But if you're terrified of touching someone the wrong way, to the extent that you hesitate and never touch them first, your intentions may be good but your "touch paralysis" isn't helping you at all in the romantic department. Take a few little "touch risks". Reach for their hands, hair, shoulders, ankles, and back. Don't just always wait for them to do it first. If they don't like it, they'll definitely let you know. But touching someone communicates to them that you find them attractive, and also that you're reasonably confident. Both of these things can make someone feel more .

Anyways these are just my own views...... Add yours! Lol

My Long-Winded Definition of 'in Love'

Being "in love" is the romantic stuff fairy tales and dreams are based on, filled with passion and longing. Children are raised on stories filled with instant attraction, romantic longing, danger and high drama - where the valiant Prince/King/Knight/Pauper saves somebody's Princess/Queen/Daughter, falls in love with her beauty, and they marry to live happily ever after. We grow up to believe that having a relationship is going to save us from a lifetime of loneliness or pain, and make all our troubles disappear.

For most, falling in love is an experience to be treasured as both scary and exhilarating. When we are in love our senses are stimulated to the maximum. The phrase "chemistry" has special meaning because we feel a tingle, a spark, an aliveness that we don't feel under any other circumstances. The sight, sound or touch of our beloved makes our heart jump. We get exasperated, frustrated, and feel somewhat off-center because of our doubts and questions, but, like an addict, we cannot get enough!

This feeling of insecurity about where we stand, coupled with the desire to win the heart of our intended is the Petri dish where the love bug and wild passion are cultivated! Sometimes the way we feel for our sweet beloved causes anorexia and insomnia.

Typical behaviours involve an inability to stop thinking of our new love, wondering how he or she feels about us. We're on edge, anticipating that first kiss, the first touch, the first night together. We wonder what our partner is doing, thinking, saying without us. Our days are filled with longing and our nights with passionate sex. With just a look, the desire to touch, kiss, hold is immediate. Sometimes we can't keep our hands off each other.

Some of us will lose all sense of self when we are in love, spending hours plotting with friends on how to keep our beloved focused on us, marriage, commitment, and in love with us. Many people claim to be helplessly in love with people they don't like very much, have nothing in common with, don't know at all, or know for a fact doesn't love them back... but decide they are madly in love anyway!

Digesting my long-winded definition of "in love" we come out with this: When she says that she loves you, but isn't IN LOVE with you, that means that she cares, doesn't want to see anything happen bad to you, she has affection for you, she may even respect and admire you, but she has absolutely no passionate desire for sexual intimacy. In other words, she cares for you like a brother. You are in THE FRIEND ZONE.

Being in love is truly wonderful, and an important part of creating a loving relationship. But if you don't have feelings like THAT for your partner, does it mean that a relationship doesn't have the capability to be rewarding, satisfying and long-term?

Well, that all depends on what you are looking for in a relationship.

Romantic personalities often expect life to imitate art. These people seek to find what they call "my soul mate" and believe that immediately and passionate attraction is the only basis to begin a relationship. One guy explained to me: "I want to feel that she is perfect, and feel myself light up when she comes into the room."

These people are often disappointed and then feel cheated and depressed when their lover's true human qualities come to the fore. It is inevitable that any woman this guy meets is NOT going to be the Perfect Princess of the fairy stories and his real life relationships will always prove to be a disappointment.

Realistic personalities are wise enough to know that basing your relationships on the "in love" feelings and abandoning the relationship when those feelings ebb like the tide is not the wisest decision.

To truly love someone takes time.

You cannot love someone for who and what they are when you met them 10 minutes ago. Likewise, you cannot love someone for who and what they are if you aren't honest with them about who and what YOU are. "Love" under those circumstances is just an illusion.

When you have had a few ups and downs, and share a bond created by affection, commitment, caring, security and trust, then you have love. Relationships where love rules provide a warm place to become vulnerable. Love creates in us a willingness to share of ourselves and our lives. We are an open book, risking hurt and heartbreak, trusting that the benefits of loving this person will far outweigh the risk!

You may be one of the lucky ones that loves someone you are also deeply in love with. However, you may be caught up in a romantic soap opera, in love with someone you know will never, ever really love you back. Sadly, not everyone we find ourselves "in love" with is a solid prospect for a loving relationship.

Let's hope that you never hear the words "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" and that you are instead the recipient of passionate love, commitment and romance... the stuff that dreams are made of!

Loving Yourself As You

We spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life to share with others. It is just like a yoruba saying that it is what you call your cloth people will call it. If you choose to love and respect yourself, people will too.


I have compiled a list on “how to love yourself” for readers who are facing difficulty with embracing themselves. When I first began to be aware that I need to love myself first prior to developing any meaningful relationships with others, I realized that I did not know where to start. I was surprised as I would have thought I’d be an expert on love and relationships by then.


1. Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you You. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not mean that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself despite all your “flaws”. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the REFLECTION that is You.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

2. Eliminate Self Criticism. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes? If you find that you often judge yourself, make an effort to stop the self criticism. This is also a product of inferiority complex and low self esteem. I have this problem befor until I met my lovely friends; segun, deji, bisola and gbenga. Segun thought how not to look down on myself.

3. Boost Your Self Confidence. Make a deliberate attempt to look for opportunities that can help improve your confidence. For instance, if you are particularly good at doing something, set aside more time to indulge and improve your skills on it. Knowing that you have particular gifts can boost your self esteem.

4. Have Fun. Inject some fun into your life. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. If you can think of life in this manner, you automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter. This is the point I am in my life, where I want to enjoy myself and have fun to the maximum.

5. Let Go Of Worry. Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. I can attest to that! Worry does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Only wise actions can! So instead of worrying, spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation. If the situation is beyond your control, then make a request to the Universe/God about what you want. Next, surrender your outcome.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” — Epictetus quotes (Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics, AD 55-c.135)


I have a long list of catalogue (in reminisce voice). But I can only give you everything, if you consult me through mail, BBM, twitter, facebook.

Here's my conclusion after my points and it's an affirmation that gave me the PUSH-ON after Le Break Up!!!! Lol....

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

Stay blessed!

Be Drunk

You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it—it's the only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is singing, everything that is speaking. . .ask what time it is and wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: "It is time to be drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

Not Being Sad about Being Sad

Depending on who you ask and how they classify the psalms, anywhere from a third to half of the book of Psalms consists of lament.  It is the most common type of psalm that you can find.

Maybe you think that’s depressing; you’d rather focus on the psalms of praise and thanksgiving, even if they are fewer in number.  I like those psalms, too, but the sheer volume of lament says something very important to me: It’s okay to be sad.  God does not expect me to paste on a plastic happy face before I pray or gather with others to worship.

Had a BBM chat with a friend this evening and she said she's just unnecessarily sad . I told her. "Whn u r sad unnecessarily, do more of wat makes u happy....... And be thankful dat u r alive, that's a reason enuf not to be sad".
Our loving God embraces us in His open arms whether we’re having a fabulous day or we are grieving.  We don’t have to try hiding anything, putting on a more “acceptable” exterior.  God welcomes our sadness and lament. 

Not Just The Neat Outlook

I wanted to put this on my pm but I didn't want to bug my friends with myriad of PMs. So I was like maybe I should put it into one and let you know how I feel.

When people dress up, swag up and 'man' up designers, I'm always like "waoh he/she is cute" or "I like his/her footwear". But after the first look, I go with a thought like though he/she is fine on the outside but is s/he truly fine on the inside. The neat /cute outlook of a beautiful lady is not the definition of her neatness or cuteness. When a guy drops his pant below the waist, all I say in my mind is hope he's wearing a neat boxers.

I've seen neat girls, that every guy wanna be with but once u open their shirts, tuck your finger into cannanland, you won't just like what you are doing. A girl or guy should know that after the outlook, opposite sex will want to know what the inside is like.

I'm not a guy with many designer clothes, infact maybe with no designer shirt but I've got the inside so clean. I get new boxers in interval of 3weeks.... Atleast as a guy you should have not less than 10 boxers.

A girl shouldn't just fluck around with just 2 bras , atleast you shld have 5, and atleast a dozen panties. Because even if you wear a vera wang gown, after that a guy will love to see the bra and panties.

As a guy you should wear clean underwear, because when your underwear is neat, that shii get girls nut. I flunt my boxers and my TRY and LUX underwear because that's just how to prove that I'm neat, not the outlook.

And to be more serious, we should learn how to shave. Some girls want HEAD but hates shaving, please can you eat a fowl with feathers on it?? It is really disgusting. Shave your pubic hair and armpit .

Girls! Forget the outlook of some of these guys, start checking their underwear and their pubic hair.

Not a lenghthy something, but that's all I got. Share your views by commenting.

Out Of A Pit

It is not strange to anyone that so many times we fall, but not everytime do we rise up and dust off the dirt on our body and move on.

In the past 2 months, I have seen and learnt that no matter how deep the pit you fall into is, there are some good people who are ready or willing to save you from dying in the pit. So they render all necessary help to get you out of the mess and breakdown.

Unlike Danielle Steele, this is no fiction. The last 8 weeks of my life showed me that even those who you love can turn their back on you and it also gave me a justification to why loners trust no one.

Like fugitives, I have ran from my mistakes, because I don't want to sleep on the mat of shame. I ran because I didn't want to face the shame and the scornful pity of haters. Again like a fugitive, I slept only where I see that I could lay my head on. I didn't sleep on beds or rugs, I slept on sand, benches, cemented ground and on cold carpet. But I knew that these were building a tough me for another tougher circumstance.
In my case, I sought refuge from 'my loved ones' but only few could be called that. The person you so believe in might have no strength to rescue you in trying times. I have been broke, I have been "molested", I have been betrayed but here I stand today to put this post here, just to show that though I wallow and cry in my pit of shame but good people gave me ladder to get out of it.
Deaconess Falade once said, "Gbotemi, you do not know who loves you, you can only boast of whom you love." It is a pity that I had my finger between my teeth before deciphering the knowledge within the phrase.
Some people gave their everything to make me happy. I remember Tosin, Segun, Rotimi taking me out to drink, just to forget the misery, wonderful people! Whenever I think about all these stuffs, I say to myself, Kunle you are a special being and I am destined for greater things, so whoever rejects me now, turned down an offer to enjoy from my greatness.
I don't want to mention names in this post because I'm no fuji musician. But to all those who stayed, thank you. For those who left, God bless you for leaving, you just gave space for other wonderful people to come in.
Even in this pit, I got my ex-best friend back and also I had the chance to meet the person who has always wanted me.
And once again my spirit is lifted and I have a happy face plus a gladdened heart.

jealousy In a Relationship: Good or Bad?

this is just a quick one, jealousy in a Relationship . Good or Bad? Tell me reasons for your pick. Oya drop comments.

put here for a reason

Sometimes when the night grows long
and regrets run through your mind,
you look back on your life
and wonder what you've left behind.

You've won no fame or fortune,
no title, power or land.
No loyal group of followers,
no one at your command.

You brood on all the chances lost,
when you could have had the prize,
But fate stepped in and stole it
right before your very eyes.

Is there any hope for meaning,
any legacy to leave?
Any way to join the ranks of those
who struggle and achieve?

Then a small voice speaks inside you
of a deed done long ago,
a trifling thing or so it seemed.
You had no way to know.

Your kindly act of charity
that turned a life around
and set some soul back on the path
where freedom can be found.

If not for you would have gone undone,
only you could make it so.
You were put here for a reason, friend,
that only God can know.

Karma (in Relationships)

Oh well!
“You get what you give.” “What goes around comes around.” We often use these sayings to describe what we consider to be retribution but simple known as “karma” ; a kind of cosmic justice that creates balance in the world. It makes us feel really good to know that ultimately no good deed will go unrewarded just as no bad deed will go unpunished. Somebody or something is keeping score. And because we generally like to consider ourselves to be on the right side of “right”, we do our good works and we sit back and wait for our reward. We are so invested in this belief that we can become really impatient, sometimes to the point of frustration even, when our good stuff fails to show up.

And what about relationships? We do all the right things. We practice being spiritually grounded; we want to be present and emotionally available. We surround ourselves with the right people; “toxic” friends are no longer a part of our inner circles. We keep ourselves physically fit and well groomed as we pluck and wax and tweeze ourselves to perfection. Even more important -we are good. So, so good. Kind, loving, thoughtful and considerate. We are Ms. Right ready for our Mr. Right to appear. We have cleaned out our emotional junk, done our spiritual homework, and we are ready, willing and able to give our best. So what is up with the men/women who show up in our lives who don’t quite match our perception of our perfect mate? For some reason, our relationship reward seems to be slow in coming. Surely something is off-kilter, but we keep moving and we wait for our good karma to kick in.

And as we move in and out of relationships, attempting to get it right and seeking our reward, we often find ourselves dissatisfied. We feel we deserve better. We see ourselves as more than what we are attracting, but what we fail to realize is that EVERY relationship that we experience is a direct reflection of who we are in any given moment. Through our relationships, we are given the opportunity to truly see ourselves-our greatness and our strength, and also what is injured and needs healing. EVERY man is our Mr. Right and right now is our perfect opportunity to heal and to grow; to use each and every relationship to help us become more of the person that we ultimately want to show up in our lives. Nothing is broken. Nothing is wrong. Nothing is out of balance.

Our karma is good and everything is exactly as it should be.

Earn Your Self Respect Back.

After learning how not to give a f**k...... I can only assume that we must have lost our self respect for people to treat us anyhow. And people treating us as they want is the reason why we don give a f**k.
Ok. Just for you to start your week with greatness, here are few ways for you to gain your self respect back.

STEP 1- ACCEPT, OR DEAL WITH, AWKWARDNESS.


It’s widely known that interviewers get their best material by being quiet and allowing silence to force words out of a politician or celebrity.
You may be uncomfortable with silence. I know I still am. But I have been working on it and have to say that it is a much more serene state to be in than trying to cover it up with random babbling just to fill up the air. This is one type of awkwardness, a kind that you should feel comfortable about and learn to live with.
Another kind of social awkwardness is this in-between space where you might have done something wrong or been wronged, but don’t say anything. I’ve been given a few harsh lessons in my time and come away realizing that the freedom that comes from talking about an uncomfortable truth is better than the comfort of avoiding that talk altogether.
Someone told me recently that the Clintons’ method for earning respect in politics is this: if someone pushes you, push back twice as hard. This is much better than awkwardness. It’s clear, it’s not passive aggressive, and you know where you stand. Start doing this immediately.


STEP 2. TELL THE TRUTH.

You don’t need to be an asshole, but the world does not need another conflict-avoidant, evasive person. No one wants another individual who steps in line with everyone else. The status quo is doing fine without you, so it’s up to you to call bullshit if you see it.
Don’t mind-read either. Telling the truth means seeing the truth, not adding your own layer of sugar coating or suspected emotion on top of it.


Step 3- LEARN HOW NOT TO DISRESPECT YOURSELF.

One thing is it is what you do to yourself, that people will do to you. A yoruba saying that "oun ti alaso ba pe aso e ni a maa ba pe" meaning it's what the owner of a cloth calls it that people will call it. That is if you say your shirt is a rag, people will call it rag. So if you want to gain yourself respect back, you must first learn how to respect yourself.

Step 4- ADJUST YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

It is very evidential that people take people with NO or LOW self-esteem for granted. This is as a result of the fact that too many people see themselves as nothing. Even if you've got nothing, carry yourself like you own the whole world. This is not pride, it is self esteem. From a popular Bollywood movie "3 idiot" Raju Rastogi was able to get the job because he adjusted his self esteem and was not lowering himself because he wanted a job. He acted like a made man of his words.
If we don't raise our shoulders a little high sometimes people won't appreciate us.


STEP 5. BEGIN YOUR NEW LIFE
This step can’t happen without the others, but once you’ve gotten here, you can safely begin to explore a whole new world– one where anything you do is fine as long as it isn’t seriously hurting anyone else. Wanna explore old abandoned buildings? No problem, as long as you’re ready to live with the consequences. Feel like hanging from hooks or get whipped by a dominatrix? Go ahead, but be safe about it. This is the theme of the NOUVEAU MOI(new me) I ranted about on BBM some weeks back. You have to accept that the old you is gone with feelings of not been respected and embrace the new you.

Once you begin on this path, you start to discover that practically everyone is capable of understanding the weird things that you do. In fact, it makes you interesting and worth paying attention to, further feeding into your plans of world domination, should you have any.
But none of this fun can happen without you recognizing, and walking past, the eye. Doing this is a powerful act of control which builds momentum and makes you strong.
Take back your self respect. Do it today– try it right now. Wear something ugly. Do something stupid. Tell someone the truth.
It doesn’t fucking matter.

With all this I believe people will start respecting you and your decisions and they will know that when they lose you, they Lost someone valuable.

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK AHEAD OF YOU.

Not Giving a F**k

Ok, I have a confession to make.

For the past 2months I rant on bbm and twitter about how sad I feel about others not giving a fuck about me but I don't care anymore.

I have spent almost my whole life– 20+ years–  caring far too much about offending people, worrying if I’m cool enough for them, or asking myself if they are judging me.

I can’t take it anymore. It’s stupid, and it’s not good for my well being. It has made me a punching bag–  a flighty, nervous wuss. But worse than that, it has made me someone who doesn’t take a stand for anything. It has made me someone who stood in the middle, far too often, and not where I cared to stand, for fear of alienating others. No more. Not today.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is different.

We’re going to talk about the cure. We’re going to talk about what’s necessary. We’re going to talk about the truth.

Do you wonder if someone is talking shit about you? Whether your friends will approve? Have you become conflict-avoidant? Spineless?

Well, it’s time you started not giving a fuck.

FACT NUMBER 1. People are judging you right now.

Yes, it’s really happening right at this moment. Some people don’t like you, and guess what? There’s nothing you can do about it. No amount of coercion, toadying, or pandering to their interests will help. In fact, the opposite is often true; the more you stand for something, the more they respect you, whether it’s grudgingly or not.

What people truly respect is when you draw the line and say “you will go no further.” They may not like this behaviour, but so what? These are people who don’t like you anyway, why should you attempt to please people who don’t care for you in the first place?

Right. Then, there’s Internet trolls. That’s a whole other thing.

Regular people are fine– you don’t actually hear it when they’re talking behind your back. But on the web, you do see it, which changes the dynamic drastically. They have an impact because they know you have your vanity searches, etc. But the real problem with Internet haters is that they confirm your paranoid delusion that everyone out there secretly hates you.

Thankfully, that’s not actually true. So the first noble truth is that most people don’t even care that you’re alive. Embrace this, my friends, for it is true freedom. The world is vast and you are small, and therefore you may do as you wish and cast your thoughts of those who dislike it to the side.

FACT NUMBER 2. You don’t need everyone to like you.

This stuff is crazy, I know, but it’s cool, you’ll get used to it. Here’s the next thing: not only do most people not know that you exist, and some are judging you, but it totally does not matter even if they are.

How liberating this is may not even hit you yet, but it will. Check this out: when people don’t like you, nothing actually happens. The world does not end. You don’t feel them breathing down your neck. In fact, the more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are.

You know when they say “the best revenge is a life well lived”? Well, this is true, but it isn’t the whole truth. A life well lived is great, yes, but it cannot happen while you are sweating about who your detractors are and what they think. What you have to do, what you have no choice but to do, is accept it and move on.

So not giving a fuck is actually a necessary precedent to create a good life for yourself. It can’t happen without it. That’s why you have to begin today.

FACT NUMBER 3. It’s your people that matter.

Ok, so you’ve adjusted to the fact that most people in the world are barely aware of your existence, and you’re also conscious of the fact that those who don’t like you are in the obscenely small minority and don’t actually matter. Awesome. Next you need to realize that the people who do care about you, and no one else, are those you need to focus on.

Relationships are weird. Once we’re in one (with family, a spouse, whatever), we promptly begin to take the other person for granted and move on to impressing strangers instead– say, our boss. Then, once we’ve impressed our boss, we start taking him for granted too, and so on, in an endless cycle of apathy. It’s like we always prefer to impress and charm the new than to work on what we already have.

But these people– your champions– they understand your quest or your cause. They make you feel good when you’re around them, make you laugh or make you feel like you can just be yourself. They make you feel relaxed or at ease. You’ve shared things with them. They’re important. Focus on them instead.

FACT NUMBER 4. Those who don’t give a fuck change the world. The rest do not.

So I’m reading this horrible book right now by Stephen King called the Long Walk. It’s a contest where people walk without sleeping or resting, and if they do stop, they are killed. (That’s actually every Stephen King book– “there’s a clown, but it kills!” “There’s a car, but it kills!” etc.)

I suspect this book is a metaphor for war, but it also captures perseverance very well. What it takes to move past anything is to simply realize that your obstacle is unimportant, and that it can be dismissed. This is true whether you’re running a marathon or trying to get to Mars.

If you dismiss the things that do not matter; if you remove those things from your mind and focus on what must be done; if you understand that your time is limited and decide to work now; only then will you be able to get to the finish line. Otherwise, you will be dissuaded into living a life you aren’t interested in.

NOTE: You need to handle failure and obscurity better. You may be in a tough place right now where you feel lonely or like a loser. No worries, we’ve all been there. But it’s time for you to realize how common these things are, and that they’re experienced by even the most successful and happiest people in the world. Those people get past them, and you will too.

A decision that didn't need making

YES - United out of europe is funny. Yes - United out of europe screwed by a ref is particularly funny.

But this was an occasion that was more than simply a United champions league tie. It was an occasion where those of us who can only get away with watching so many Non-Arsenal games each season felt confident chasing in on a chip on. It was one of those occasions where you had two terrific sides in terrific form. You wondered what would ultimately separate them.

And for a while it was great. United scored but that didn't really matter because Madrid still had to get one and we wondered how it would all play out.

And then the referee intervened: it was clearly a complete accident and to those who say it is reckless to control the ball at that height, I'd remind you that we' re about to cast in bronze a statue of Dennis Bergkamp doing exactly that.

But for me the point is the referee never had to make that decision: no fan, player or manager of Real Madrid would have cited a failure to issue a red at that point as explanation for their failure to qualify. Just as nobody from Barcelona ever would have dared cite a failure to send-off RVP for kicking the ball away in Nou Camp a couple of years ago had we gone on to beat them.

Source :

The Need To Say NO TO CULTISM

After the shocking news of damoche, an upcoming artiste popular for his damino damoche and obo to she tracks. It won't be new to say he 'was' a cultist. I'm not talking about his personality on here and I'm not discussing about his death, I just want to shed light on cultism and the need to say NO to Cultism.

Things are really falling apart and indeed the falcon can no longer hear the falconer. We should put our sh*t together. We only Live once........

To me I see cultism not only as a wrong doctrine but also as bad attitudes. Cultism in University is a barbaric activity that can only harm and mar the students future. Most people went to the University innocent and turn bloody there, Neglecting the values of been a good student. All the protection promises they make, beautiful girls things, No intimidation things, hardman thing are all LIES from the pit of hell. If you actually join because you want ladies, you can only get b*tches and not women of substance. Rather you end up spending 10yrs for a 4yr course or end up in the grave before graduation.
This is why I don't even pity any cultist killed by other frats. If you kill people, be ready for the that day you'd be killed. It's a retributive justice......

Cultism is not sexually segregating. It involves both male and female. And for too many irrational reasons people lose their lives like chickens putting parents into total darkness of sorrow. Destinies are destroyed and lives are cut short. There is more to this life than seeking salvation where there is not. I'm not preaching or giving sermon. I'm just reflecting on the social effect of cultism.

If you are a cultist, all you can get is series of killings in revenge of your death. So while dead, there are still lives that'd be counted on you. This act is a mess and menace to the society at large.
Our generation should be the hope of tomorrow, where's the Hope in cultism?? We are the change needed to pilot this great nation to its Canaan, where's the change in Cultism?? We want to fight against corruption, do we have to fight against each other to do it? We want to make Nigeria a better place but what's good in Cultism??

It's kinda amusing that some positive thinking youths are busy reading just to make it life, some into self-established business, some into internet programming stuffs and other stuffs like that, trying to make a living, make cool cash. While some backward thinking , dark aged youths are interested in killing one another.

I'm not a perfectionist, but to a minimal stage we can earn perfection though not total. And this perfection is to say no to cultism, never join them, putting your trust in God, Allah, Eledumare, Amadioha, chukwu or what God or god you believe in.

I still believe in the power of us making a change, it begins with you and I. SAY NO TO CULTISM!!!

Love, frienship and Betrayal (3)

Sorry this story came late. But anyway I know you are anticipating on what happened to 'debola. For those who are reading this story for the first time, here is a summary.....

'Debola's trusted friend tolani snatched 'demola, her husband to be (in a marriage that was 3weeks away). And months later, Grace (another friend of debola) rushed in with an invitation card for tolani and demola's wedding. Debola had accident on her way back from tolani's wedding. And she won't be able to walk for a year or two.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I cried so much after hearing the sad news that I won't be able to walk for a year or two. Grace was with me, giving me tissues to dry off the tears on my cheeks. The 'hawt' doctor was there too, he was just looking at me. And I wasn't even thinking about him because of the news, all that was going through my head was "so I lost my husband 'to be' to tolani and I lost my spinal cord to tolani's treacherous wedding". And for the first time if I'm not lying, I cursed her in my heart then I sighed. "Don't worry dear, it 's not like you won't work again" the doctor said. Then he draws out an x-ray result from a file, demonstrating the dislocation in my spinal cord and the ruptured ribs. I was in tears and couldn't see what he was showing me.

I spent two months in the hospital after that day. And I see the doctor everyday, and even when Grace can't come to the hospital to sleep over, the doctor will. Sometimes he won't even go home after his shift.

On an afternoon , I was teasing him. " Won't you go home and stay with your wife?" I said jokingly. Though there was no ring on his finger but I wanted to know maybe there is anyone.

He replied "I have no one to go home too, my brother is in the U.K and our parents are dead. I looked at him with a sad face. "Sorry, but that's not a correct answer." He smiled, ''I'm single" he said. There was this sprinting happiness in my blood stream. Though several time, I'd ask him, "can u date a disabled lady like myself". ''Hmmm, if that's what would make me happy."
Not like I was trying to force myself on him but he's kinda hot and I'm not in a position to play with any chance I have. As a matter of fact, I don't even know his name, I call him DR, Nothing more.

After the discharge from hospital, he visits at least thrice a week. Maybe because he's my personal doctor. Grace is always around and there were no chances for us to talk about dating or anything...... Sometimes when he's around, Grace and him would just push me around the neighbourhood, get me some ice cream.

After 2 or 3months can't remember precisely, I started using crutches instead of wheelchair . The first day I walked with crutches, he was so happy that he had to go out, get I and grace chicken and potato chips.

But things suddenly changed, I wasn't seeing him again, whenever I try his number it's always switched off. There was no one to talk to, as I was not seeing Grace too. I lived the first one week of not seeing them in agony, I couldn't do things all by myself. Infact I was not having proper bath. So I made up my mind on going to check him at home on a saturday morning. He gave me his house address, when I told him that I'll come and know maybe he's single or not.

I chattered a cab from Bariga to Ogba. His house is one big building, very free to access. The maid helped me to get to the living room. ''Madamu, oga go soon come join u. Relask(x) and enjoy". I couldn't reply because I was sad and was saving all the words for the doctor.

I was looking all around the living room. Two big portraits of his mum and dad. One small portrait of him. No picture of any girl. I sighed in relief. But as I was looking at every piece in the house, I was hearing someone moaning.

My heart was pounding seriously, and I was praying it should not be doctor. Because I was already in love and if he's not going to ask me out, I was intending to tell him that I love him. At least what a man "can't" do , I'll do it better.

So I checked the first room, no one there. As I move towards the second room, the moaning gets closer. It must be the second room. As I peeped to see , no one there too. With the difficulty in carrying my crutches, I didn't mind. Things we do for love. I move towards the third room, and the moaning was closer than it was. ''The room is open'', I soliloquies. I peeped this time, and I saw a light skinned lady, sitting on the di''k of a tall , built and strong guy. These qualities matches that of Dr. But I watched the action for almost 4 minutes. The lady was seriously pounding on the D, the guy (who I'm not sure yet maybe is doctor or not) was grabbing the boobs firmly. The D must be really long because as the lady goes up, the inch of the D that I was seeing is long enough to fill another Hole...... The lady was banging it really hard like she's gonna die after that. And the guy was not letting go of the boobs. I was shocked and couldn't talk for 4minutes, the sex was intense and I screamed "D O C T O R!!!!"

And because it was the lady that was on top, she turned first. She said "haaa! 'Debola!!!" And *crying* it is my friend, Grace. As the guy stretches neck to see, he looked at me strangely, like we are seeing for the first time. And it is The Doctor. And down I go with my crutches, shouting ''Not again!!!!".

Life As A Journey............

Things have been happening, not just things, lots of great and bad things. Anyway I am not here to remind you of that, today I just thought I should write here about "A life Journey" which is basically just a journey through life, we all journey through this life, we encounter the good and the bad, each day has got it's own challenges, losses, victories, disappointments, it's just full of everything; that is life for you.

In my life I have been through a lot just like you and him and the other one, but the challenges we meet always differ, my life journey is not at all like yours, sometime they maybe be similar but I know it for a fact they can never be the same coz we all take things differently and we all can stand different challenges, some we loose some we win. As human we always ask ourselves certain questions, why me, do I deserve this, when will I ever get through, etc. All these questions are just part of life, your life, my life and his/her life!

Sometimes we get through a time when we have so much good time that we forget there can be bad times as well, sometimes we just ignore the bad time and live in our dreams. But the fact is that life can be a dream but there is also reality and that we can not run away from. When reality strikes we turn to go down like a mountain, when we dream we turn to wish it was true, that is also just part of life. I have lived in a dream for a while and I have also lived in reality for a while, these two go hand in hand, they are just helpers of each other, one can't survive without the other.

Have you ever asked yourself which world you live in, a dream world or a real world? Which one do you hold on to, more than the other, your dreams or the reality? To me that doesn't matter, all that matters is the balance between the two. We can dream but also have to know that we have to bring the dream world in reality, that is what we do every day but we fail to understand that not every dream can be brought in to the real world, not every dream brought in to the real world will be successful, however if not successful it's always easy do take it back into the dream world and re dream you dream, fix the mistakes and put it back into reality.

We all have to come to a point where we understand that life is a journey and you never know what, who, how, and when you will meet something or someone on the way, you can never tell what kind of  thing, person you will meet, what characters they will have or what challenges they will give you. But all we can stand on is one, "what ever I meet, I am ready to take it up and if it may happen that I am hurt on the way there is always time to heal" that is life, that is the life we live. So why cut off your journey when you can re-dream, why give up when you can re-dream. I see no reason, they only thing I will say if you give up is that you have defeated yourself.

Albert Einstein once said, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." How true can that be, each person has their own journey to travel, if you want to travel mine just forget, if you want my strength just forget. We all differ, maybe I am not such a good writer, but I know I can always talk sense into your head, maybe I am not a good thinker but I know I can put a little motivation into you. Just think, if we all had the same mentality, gifts and skills, what would make you unique, what would give you that special feeling, the truth is "nothing". So just live with what you have and know that it's part of your life journey, don't ask why it's happening to you. Anyway who should it happen to, you can see it's on your path, it was made for you coz you can handle it.
So life is a journey, you never know what to expect but I want you to know, it was made for you, and you will know once you have reached the destination. So now lets just pack our bags with all the things we think would help on the way. Wish you all the best on your journey, maybe it will be easy maybe not, but yours can never be the same as mine. For the last tip, never judge another person with your own abilities and strengths, remember your were created for a journey that is different from his/hers, what seems easy to you may be hard on them and what seems hard on you may be easy on them.

Let's go for it, it's a path made for you!

FROM WHERE IT BEGINS… –. Haastrup Steven Adeshope.

Let’s get it straight – the societal transformation we are looking for begins with you and me. And the best place to start is from the confession room.

Welcome to LeadingYOU – a production of #StevenSpeaks. My name is Haastrup Steven Adeshope.

Aren’t we all guilty as charged? Shouldn’t we all stand penitent in the confession room, our heads buried in our palms? Let us turn out gaze this morning to the typical Nigerian parent. He wants the best for his children but it in on his watch that the seed of indiscipline, lawlessness and corruption reverberating through the nation is sown.

You can preach do as I say but not as I do behind the pulpit but certainly not in the home. It won’t sell. Every one of us remembers, at least, one incidence in which our parents’ advice backfired. The advice, as well intentioned as it might be, failed the crucial test of positive role modeling. The news went round in my days about a father that told his child to tell his creditors he was not home. The child sighting the creditors rushed to them, saying, “My father said I should tell you he is not home, even though he is behind the tree in the backyard hiding” There was another case of a child who witnessed the illicit affair between his mom and a lover. The lover wanting to keep the mouth of child sealed showered him with gifts. One day, the child annoyed his father, who decided to deny him of his favorite chocolate as a punishment. The child’s response opened a can of worms. “Alright then, I will go to my second father. Did you not say you are traveling tomorrow? My second father will move in as soon as you are gone, and he will buy me chocolate.”

The family, my dear reader, is the foundation of any society. If change must come, it must have the family as its first point of call. It is here that the child’s personality and character are formed. It is here that prejudice against other ethnic groups is encouraged or discouraged. It is here that indiscipline is bred. It is here that discipline is enforced. The future of our nation is not determined by the quality of debate in the National Assembly but by the decisions that are made at every home. When you ask your child not to be friend with a friend from poor parentage, you sow the seed of class consciousness. When you berate other ethnic groups in the presence of your child, you lay the foundation for ethnic prejudice. When you offer bribe to get your child admission or help her secure examination questions, you are encouraging a lifetime of bribery and corner cutting.

Each action or inaction at the home of every Nigeria affects the whole nation. It is here we raise future leaders – skilled, visionary, responsible and accountable. When we teach the children the beauty and the benefit of delayed gratification, we sow the seed of patience and good judgment. If we are not making the right choices at home, then we need to plead guilty before the court of societal change.

 

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